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Nintendo's creepy Wii are Familii posters

2007-01-27 11:44:51·  2 minute read   ·  Papa Niero

As we exited the Wii expo area at Otronicon we found a disturbed looking little boy. He was looking at a colorful Mii poster curiously, face twisted in an expression of utter confusion and curiosity. We didn't get his mug shot (because photographing random kids is a good way to get a fast ticket to the luxurious pedophile suites) but instead took it upon ourselves to examine the artwork. Okay... um... what the hell is going on in this poster? 

Here's an analysis: There's a smirking man on astroturf that appears to be thinking about a woman he wants to kill with a bulletshot to the head, as noted by the target near her bubble. Maybe he just wants to fire shots near her head to deafen or scare here. There are bullseye targets in the sky that don't concern him -- the brunette is dead meat. 

As a montage (sing it) the poster also makes no sense and becomes even creepier. The targets and flying banana resemble hypnotized face in the sky, dizzy with stars and bubbles and flying apples. We found that this is just one image from a set of other similar posters which, like this one, don't make any sense as a group or on their own. It's comedy gold.

Think of the kids, Nintendo!  What could that young boy taken away from this diagram of premeditated Mii murder?  We can only presume that this artwork belongs to Wii Play, an activities minigame disk that we've yet to see Stateside. Either that, or the graphic designer has a twisted sense of humor and there are messages that need to be decoded here. If there are any Jerry Garcia fans in the Destructoid community, your enlightened assistence and ready stash of hard drugs are summoned to duty. Can you figure out what the hell is going on here?

On a brighter note, the Wii tent at Otronicon was a hit with the moms; I mean that it looked like there might have also been a shoe sale there. We took it upon ourselves to speak to a few milfs who came to the vent out of desperation of their children to finally play a Wii. Apparently, you pretty much have to make a pact with Satan in some cities to purchase one of these things. We stood there and peoplewatched for a little bit: chilluns swinging wildly at the invisible sports in the open area, outfitted with roughly ten large shielded projection televisions that could take a beating should a Wiimote fly out the hands of a newbie Wiitard.  Parents that don't suck were also really getting into it.

It was a nice family experience and most people we spoke to (ages ranging from 5 to 50) said they'd like to purchase one. Ninty deserves their fortunes: Wii are familii, indeed.

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Papa NieroGeneralist // Profile & Disclosures
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Sometimes I google "photos of horses vomiting" just to release some stress. Early career: You may know me as the guy that chased Jack Thompson around courtrooms, the guy that snuck into E3 in ... more


#Artsy Fartsy #Comedy Gold #Drugs #Nintendo #Wii


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