New study claims that gaming affects the penis in two different ways


Next up, librarians and leather ownership ratios

You're gonna want to stick your dick in the popcorn for this one: A new study published in the Medical Journal of Sexytime Medicine suggests that people who "chronically abuse" videogames are less likely to bust a groove prematurely, but overall these guys will crave less sex than their non-gaming bros. In an interview with Vice, the lead researcher (who is a gamer) believes the stress caused by intense gaming makes us less likely to want figure out the vaginal pythagoras after emerging from the man-cave. Hmm.

The study was conducted by scientists in Italy, who definitely know about these things because Sex and City taught us that those guys can fuck like magical ligers. They surveyed a few hundred men who responded to two respected online survey methods, where the findings were then correlated for causation. Here's a data bloop from the study:

From June 18, 2014 through July 31, 2014, 599 men 18 to 50 years old completed the questionnaires. One hundred ninety-nine men reported no sexual activity during the previous 4 weeks; four records were rejected because of inherent errors. The remaining 396 questionnaires were analyzed, with 287 “gamers” (playing >1 hour/day on average) and 109 “non-gamers” providing all the required information. We found a lower prevalence of premature ejaculation in gamers compared with non-gamers (mean PEDT score = 3.57 ± 3.38 vs 4.52 ± 3.7, P < .05, respectively). Analysis of the IIEF-15 showed no significant differences between gamers and non-gamers in the domains of erectile function, orgasmic function, and overall satisfaction. Median scores for the sexual desire domain were higher for non-gamers (median score [interquartile range] 9 [8–9] vs 9 [8–10], respectively; P = .0227).

Interquartile Range sounds like where Squirtle and the fam go on hay rides.

This is where I'm calling bullshit on the study: the findings are based on anonymous guys talking about themselves online. The amount of sexual tension and general horniness I've witnessed at gaming conventions tells me that if you round these dudes up the results might be very different, if such a survey about "performance" is as full of fibs as dick size surveys.

The link to lower pre-ejaculation is interesting little side note, though. The theory suggests that videogames re-write the brain's reward system, but falls short to explore what other reward-based activities back that theory up. It seems to conflict with every other article that says gamers are more likely to have ADHD, gamers can't control their mouths, and so forth. But the phallus! The fallus we somehow make obedient through grinding! Or something. I don't buy it.

Here's yet another reason why I can't take this study seriously: There are other studies that link obesity to gaming, and obesity seems more likely to explain decreased sexual appetite than stress or what-not. Even as little as gaining ten pounds can wreck your libido, says WebMD.

The researcher does concede that recruiting test subjects strictly from social networks can cause bias. That's a two-step method to harvest willing chests covered in Cheetos with nothing else to do. Imagine if we polled Brazzers users who also happen to enjoy 20+ hours of gaming a week, what then?

One last statistic: 100% of the articles written about this study on Fox News, Newser, Vice, MedicalWeb, and TheNextWeb were penned by female bloggers. You girls just couldn't resist to write about limp dicks, could ya? Wait until the correlation between bulk shoe ownership and sad polka violin player drops. I'm going to be there to sprinkle your sensible salads with extra gluten, you just watch girls. 

I'd never survey Destructoid's staff on such awkward clickbait but WesLikesTacos had this to say: "I call bullshit. Every time I play CoD someone brags about the lascivious things they've done with my mother, so I know at least some gamers are getting some."

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Destructoid Staff
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Filed under... #Talking to Women about Video Games



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