Nature Discoveries With Candycorn Zimmerman

Hey guys, I missed you.

Sorry for the radio silence. It’s been a crazy couple of weeks. I finally got a job (hold for applause) making coffee for fancy people in the financial district. This is very exciting because it means I can actually buy food for myself, and I don’t have to live off handouts and weird shit my girlfriend has at her house. This also sucks because I have to wake up at about four o’clock in the morning every day and I’ve burned myself quite thoroughly while steaming milk.

In other news, there’s the Destructoid show on Revision3! Raaaahhh! Raaaahhhhhhh! (That’s the sound of millions of screaming fans) which is totally awesome and only getting awesomer.

Maybe someday Hamza will upload some of the behind-the-scenes footage, which is just obscene and terrible. It’s mostly me pretending to jerk off while Jonathan and Tara are trying to read from the teleprompter.

There’s also this giant bowl of Starburst that we keep eating. I don’t even know who the Starbursts belong to, but we’re devouring all of them gradually. I really hope they don’t make us replace the Starbursts we eat because that’ll probably set us back like… Ten bucks or something. Ten bucks buys a lot of Starbursts.

Hey guys, I missed you.

Sorry for the radio silence. It’s been a crazy couple of weeks. I finally got a job (hold for applause) making coffee for fancy people in the financial district. This is very exciting because it means I can actually buy food for myself, and I don’t have to live off handouts and weird shit my girlfriend has at her house. This also sucks because I have to wake up at about four o’clock in the morning every day and I’ve burned myself quite thoroughly while steaming milk.

In other news, there’s the Destructoid show on Revision3! Raaaahhh! Raaaahhhhhhh! (That’s the sound of millions of screaming fans) which is totally awesome and only getting awesomer.

Maybe someday Hamza will upload some of the behind-the-scenes footage, which is just obscene and terrible. It’s mostly me pretending to jerk off while Jonathan and Tara are trying to read from the teleprompter.

There’s also this giant bowl of Starburst that we keep eating. I don’t even know who the Starbursts belong to, but we’re devouring all of them gradually. I really hope they don’t make us replace the Starbursts we eat because that’ll probably set us back like… Ten bucks or something. Ten bucks buys a lot of Starbursts.

There is an intensely stupid video I made for you after the jump.

Max Scoville