Feeling David Cage's tentacly appendages
Captain's Log: it's day 2 and I'm already starting to see the cracks in my sanity. David Cage's magnum opus is dragging me down. It's called Beyond: Two Souls but I reality it's closer to Beyond: Two oh my god please kill me. The terrors have even invaded my jokes. Maybe this is what Lovecraft was writing about.
Unfortunately I have to go back into the madness today. It seems that the ravenous viewers love watching us torture ourselves this nonsense. The worst part is Phil seems to like it. HQ has told me to make sure everyone knows where they can do to see the continuation of this experiment. Our torture chamber is Dtoid.tv at 2PM PDT. May god have mercy on our souls.