Japanese Phantasy Star 4 ad; my kingdom for a time machine

Existing almost entirely on the Internet lends me a lot of free time during which I can scour the web, decry the death of my innocent, carefree childhood and drink until I can’t remember what year it is. Occasionally, all three of those pastimes come together in a glorious anachronistic explosion, and I come across something like the above video: a Japanese Phantasy Star IV ad, courtesy of Sega-16’s media teat.

“But Nex, now we have fancy consoles capable of predicting the future and not electrocuting us when we bathe with them! The Genesis is as dead as Bradley Nowell!”

Sure, Billy, I suppose that’s true, but do any of these new consoles have the same kind of early 90s, Cameron-inspired uncertainty as to whether they could gain sentience and plot to kill us? I think not. 

In the end, friends, you would think I had a point here, wouldn’t you? Once again, you would be horribly, horribly wrong.

(Editor’s Note: Shhh! The video’s playing! — Nex) 

Earnest Cavalli
I'm Nex. I used to work here but my love of cash led me to take a gig with Wired. I still keep an eye on the 'toid, but to see what I'm really up to, you should either hit up my Vox or go have a look at the Wired media empire.