Japanese Gears of War viral ads; the Japanese are wacky! Who knew?

Microsoft has never had the kind of kitten-smashing success in Japan that it has enjoyed here in America, but with the release of its Xbox 360, and the system’s mega-smash-hit Gears of War, the company is looking to reach out to the Japanese gamer with the oldest trick in the book: viral ads propagated via Youtube featuring an adorable female lead, and unlikely, yet endearing situations!

The above video is the first in the series of girl-meets-monster, girl-befriends-monster, girl-and-monster-hump-like-bunnies videos that Microsoft has thrust upon an unwitting (and all too used to monster-on-girl action) Japanese public.

Hit the jump for more.

[Mad love to Siliconera for bringing this insanity to my attention.] 

Ok, so, here’s the recap; Yunnie, Microsoft’s adorable, Japanese tentacle-target, talks cheerily into the camera (possibly about Totoro) before hearing eerie noises. Glancing around nervously, one begins to wonder just what lurks on Channel X in her closet. Once the initial sense of dread has passed, she relaxes for a moment, only to have a green, scaly hand pull her off-camera. Pro Tip: There is no shame in admitting you have wet yourself at this point.

Part 2: Yunnie turns out to be a huge attention-whore, and as much as our monster (who I’ve taken to calling ‘Todd’) tries to remain hidden in his lair under her bed, she berates him for not coming out to join her in the unrelenting sunlight. Fearing the agony the light would cause, Todd tries vainly to drag the cheery bitch into his subterranean hole, if only to jam a sandwich in her mouth to silence her annoying yammering.
The series trails on and on, and at the moment, it has fifteen seperate episodes, all of which are vaguely erotic if you’ve had enough to drink. Yunnie and Todd eventually become friends, but Todd, overcome with a sense of insecurity formed early in childhood, never gets over his fear of the limelight. Fans of the series have been hoping from day one that Yunnie and Todd would, as the Japanese say, “do it”, but so far there has been little to no coitus (that wasn’t imagined on message boards, drawn into a series of erotic pictures, and furiously masturbated over).
Before I end this post and put a gun squarely against my head, I want to leave you with the greatest video of the series. In it, Yunnie and Todd have formed a deep bond; the kind of bond that can only exist between a beautiful girl and the scaly thing that lives under her bed. Todd retains his trademark bashfulness, and Yunnie her trademark look-at-me-I’m-the-kind-of-girl-who-forensic-scientists-would-say-“was asking for it”-ness, and, by the end of the clip, they, like Felix and Oscar, have learned that opposites sometimes do attract.

Heartwarming, no?

About The Author
Earnest Cavalli
I'm Nex. I used to work here but my love of cash led me to take a gig with Wired. I still keep an eye on the 'toid, but to see what I'm really up to, you should either hit up my Vox or go have a look at the Wired media empire.
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