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Cynics will call them walking simulators

by @destructoid
0

Podtoid 368


In this episode of Podtoid, Brett talked about two walking simulators, What Remains of Edith Finch and Scanner Sombre. Steven just wanted to talk about the Silicon Valley failure Juicero. I made a machinima condolence video for a friend whose cat died. It was a weird one all around.

We capped the episode off with a listener question about eating habits, then hit a quick SATPOTPAQ (which I am dominating), before ending on a musical Hot Dish. All the while, Steven and Brett were fixated on circumcisions. It was a little distracting, but perhaps not as distracting as having one's foreskin sliced off.

 

 
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Baby Park in Double Dash is easily the best Mario Kart track

by @destructoid
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Sorry, every other track


This Friday, the wonderful Wii U title Mario Kart 8 is making the jump to the Nintendo Switch with Mario Kart 8 Deluxe. The Deluxe pack will feature every track from the original game that more than 8 million people enjoyed as well as all of the DLC cups. That includes Baby Park, my favorite Mario Kart track ever.

Well, I should be clearer. Baby Park in Mario Kart 8 is beautiful and a little fun and the Mario Kart DS iteration is okay, but Baby Park in Mario Kart: Double Dash is not only easily the best version of the track, but the best Mario Kart track period.

At first glance, it doesn't look like much. In fact, it almost looks it should be a tutorial track to teach you the basics of the game. But once the green light flashes, its one-dimensional veneer melts away as you’re forced to survive eight laps of absolute hell. Each lap takes about 10 seconds, but in Double Dash, those seconds could be filled with you dodging giant Bowser shells, huge bananas, waves of fireballs and the rest of the special items that, for some reason, are exclusive to Double Dash.

That is what makes this track stand out. Other courses in the game are quite big, wide and occasionally too long, so it’s easy to avoid these massive obstacles. But here, in the baby-themed thunder dome, you’re lucky to make it five laps without seeing your kart tumble over itself.  And when somebody lets loose a blue shell? Fuggedaboutit.

Baby Park doesn’t feel like a traditional race, it feels like the madcap chaos of Mario Kart’s battle mode has been isolated and concentrated into a deceptively cute-looking traditional track. For that, it’s the best of the bunch and I challenge anyone to prove me wrong.

 
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How are you liking Persona 5 so far?

by @destructoid
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Podtoid 367


It seems like people are really digging Persona 5, or at least people not named Brett Makedonski. At least, that's what I gather from listening to this latest episode of Podtoid. Steven and Ray are into it. Whatever floats their boats, I guess.

Otherwise, the gang talked about The Sexy Brutale, analingus, the Wii U's legacy, and camping trips. The episode is rounded out with another point-scoring SATPOTPAQ. That's two in a row!

Subscribe to the podcast via iTunes or download it here.

 
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Wii Music is a no-good awful game and I absolutely love it

by @destructoid
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Let's talk about the bad games we love


Wii Music is an embarrassing game. It was embarrassing when it was first demoed at E3, it was embarrassing when the people of the Today Show or Good Morning America played it on live TV and it is embarrassing as hell for me, a single guy in his 30s with neither kids nor young relatives nearby to play it with, to not only own such a game but to have pre-ordered it so he could have it day one. Wii Music is an abomination of a rhythm game, and quite honestly the Nintendo product I’ve ever purchased that forced me to think about what it is that qualifies something to be a "game." It’s lazy, one you can succeed in just by waving your hands wildly, and no other title in the past 10 years has put forth such clear evidence that Nintendo is one cheap-ass company than the music game that relies overwhelmingly on public domain tunes.

Wii Music is a complete embarrassment of a game, but I love it.

Last week, a tweet came across my feed with some guy complaining that GameStop employees were saying Yooka-Laylee was bad and blaming game critics. This was already after I had proposed this topic to the Destructoid writers, but the stupidity of it cemented the fact this is the right time to sing the praises of bad games we enjoy.

There really isn’t anything about Wii Music that I should like. I don’t like “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star,” I don’t think “American Patrol” is a fun song to play on the tuba, and I certainly can think of five other George Michael songs I’d rather pretend to play than “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go.” And yet, for more than 65 hours on my Wii, I played all three of those songs and every other included on the disc, and I had a goddamn blast doing so. I love pretending to use a turntable to play “September,” I smiled all the way through my rendition of “The Entertainer” using nothing but castanets and hand claps, and there was perhaps no more jubilant an experience to be found on the Wii than conducting an orchestra to play the theme song to The Legend of Zelda.

I could talk all day about how to improve it - *cough* more Nintendo and general gaming music tracks *cough* - and I am the first to admit that this a lousy game, but it’s a lousy game that I hold near and dear to my heart. I don’t care what the critics or the haters say, I love Wii Music and something tells me my fellow Destructoid writers have bad games they adore as well.

 
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Destructoid's top 10 Wii U games (Part 3)

by @destructoid
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The top two


Assuming you haven’t already scrolled down to see which title was voted as the greatest Wii U game and are now in the comments letting everyone know if you agree or disagree with us, please let me welcome you to part three of Destructoid’s top 10 Wii U games. For the past two days, I’ve told you about the eight games we found to be the best on the console. It should be no surprise that all of them were published by Nintendo and the top two don't change that trend. As much as we love games like Shovel Knight, Guacamelee, ZombiU, and Steamworld Dig, all of which were named on one or more of the submitted top 10 lists, they couldn’t compete with the affection we have for the games that made it.

This is particularly true of our top two titles, two games that have a lot in common. They both have a strong legion of fans, they both are arguably the best in their genre, they both came out in 2014, and both of them feature a certain angel-killing Umbran Witch.

 
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