Here's what I got in our tips inbox this morning:
Subject: PLASMA CUTTER
HELLO MY NAME IS DAVID JOE I SEND THIS ENQUIRY TO YOUR COMPANY IN REGARDS TO ORDER SOME( Plasma Cutter)..I WILL LIKE YOU TO EMAIL ME BACK WITH THE PRICE,SIZE AND THE METHOD OF PAYMENT YOU DO ACCEPT TO PROCEED..
David Joe, you must have the wrong address. I don't stock plasma cutters. And trust me, if I had plasma cutters, I would not sell them to you or anyone else. I'd keep them for the inevitable alien attack. Oh, and spam us again and I'll change the orientation of my cutter, aim for your neck, and slice your head off and send it flying into space.
Coming to our Destructoid inbox, this almost seemed like a Dead Space viral. Of course, the Plasma Cutter is a primary weapon in EA's survival horror game. On the real-world plasma cutter, or own Topher Cantler had this to say about it:
"It's essentially a laserbeam that literally cuts through metal like butter. It's pretty much the awesomest thing you can do without getting a naked lady and a couple of panthers involved."