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Hillary Clinton wants you to 'Pokemon Go to the polls'

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While Trump parodies 'Crooked Hillary No'

Nearly-69-year-old grandmother and possible future president Hillary Clinton wants you to know she has a finger on the pulse of what's hip with the youths these days. "I don't know who created Pokemon Go," she said at a recent appearance, her eyes lighting up with a crack-hit of instant resonance and applause, "but I'm trying to figure out how we get them to have 'Pokemon Go to the polls.'" Pokemon is getting even more play than it did last election.

It's a rough watch. At least it didn't go on for as long as when she tried boba tea for the first time. Yaaay.

The Clinton campaign website has also set up a "Gotta Catch 'Em' All" event in Ohio at "Madison Park Pokestop & PokeGYM."

"Join us as we go to the Pokestop in Madison Park and put up a lure module, get free pokemon, & battle each other while you register voters and learn more about Sec. Hillary Clinton!!! Kids welcome!"

You can just feel the enthusiasm!!!

70-year-old Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump's staff took things a lot further, parodying the game by calling it "Crooked Hillary No" in a feat of linguistic krav maga not seen since a commenter once wrote in these hallowed halls, "Destructoid? More like derpstructfail."

In the attack ad posted to Facebook, a 1 CP "Crooked Hillary" is captured and displays a negative read out. Trump has told the Washington Examiner, "I wish I had time," to play Pokemon Go, but I imagine that's just a cop out as the frail septuagenarian's tiny little baby fingers likely don't provide him with enough dexterity to catch pocket monsters. 

I cannot wait for this circus to be over.


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Steven Hansen
Steven HansenContributor   gamer profile

Steven watches anime & sports, buys meat out of trucks, dates a Muppet, and is only good at cooking. He stands before you bereft of solace and well on the road to perdition. ('^ω^) more + disclosures


 



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