For Christ's f*cking sake
Microsoft has revealed the fruits of its disgusting sex with PepsiCo, announcing its special "Dew n' Doritos" Xbox One cross-promotion will let you win a special box of vaguely edible items.
Major Nelson is giving some of these care packages away, which will include Doritos bags and Mountain Dew cans plastered in promotional Xbox One packaging. If you want a free bag of crisps, you can go tell Major Nelson what Xbox One game you're most looking forward to. I recommend sharing your excitement for the PS4 version of Metal Gear Solid 5.
As you observe this glorious tribute to corporate marriage, just remember how destitute the mainstream videogame industry is. How poor companies like Microsoft are. So poor, in fact, they cannot exist in a world that also tolerates our right of first sale. Weep for the videogame industry, my friends, for it has but pennies to its name.
Weep ... and get a SWEET FUCKIN' INJECTION OF GAMER FUEEEEEEEEL!