Final Fantasy history in video; bishi doesn’t even begin to describe it

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In case you’ve missed one (or seven) of the Final Fantasy titles that have been released over the last two decades, we bring you the above video. It’s a cinematic history of the entire series, and, as you might expect, it runs a little long. If you need to, go change your catheter and brew a pot of coffee, because you’re going to be sitting in front of your computer for a while.

Watching this entire video has instilled in me two sentiments; the first being that the dudes in this entire series would all make really cute girls. Not like Petra-Nemcova-esque insanely hot supermodels, but more of a Thora-Birch-ian girl-next-door who seems really innocent up until you get a few wine coolers in him/her and you find out the true meaning of passion.

The second sentiment is that David Beckham is a really attractive dude. Seriously. It might just be that part of my psyche that keeps pushing me to buy more and more hair products, but if I was a chick, or some kind of half-woman-stickbug hybrid, I would totally do him.

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Earnest Cavalli
I'm Nex. I used to work here but my love of cash led me to take a gig with Wired. I still keep an eye on the 'toid, but to see what I'm really up to, you should either hit up my Vox or go have a look at the Wired media empire.