Final Fantasy history in video; bishi doesn’t even begin to describe it

In case you’ve missed one (or seven) of the Final Fantasy titles that have been released over the last two decades, we bring you the above video. It’s a cinematic history of the entire series, and, as you might expect, it runs a little long. If you need to, go change your catheter and brew a pot of coffee, because you’re going to be sitting in front of your computer for a while.

Watching this entire video has instilled in me two sentiments; the first being that the dudes in this entire series would all make really cute girls. Not like Petra-Nemcova-esque insanely hot supermodels, but more of a Thora-Birch-ian girl-next-door who seems really innocent up until you get a few wine coolers in him/her and you find out the true meaning of passion.

The second sentiment is that David Beckham is a really attractive dude. Seriously. It might just be that part of my psyche that keeps pushing me to buy more and more hair products, but if I was a chick, or some kind of half-woman-stickbug hybrid, I would totally do him.

Earnest Cavalli
I'm Nex. I used to work here but my love of cash led me to take a gig with Wired. I still keep an eye on the 'toid, but to see what I'm really up to, you should either hit up my Vox or go have a look at the Wired media empire.