Fanboy Friday: Rage Against Flower

So, as you may have noticed, Flower has come out. If you haven’t been following it, it’s a very simple and relaxing game. Using the Sixaxis and a single button, you control the wind and basically revitalize a dead and dying landscape. While it’s not everyone’s cup of tea, it’s extremely relaxing and an interesting experiment in game design.

This week, we’re going to be looking at a variety of reviews and discussions of Flower. Unlike previous weeks, this isn’t going to be about people complaining about review scores or bias (except for one or two). It’s going to be about people who hate the game SO MUCH that, compared to the Zen-like pacifism of Flower, they look downright absurd.

Hit the jump.

There’s nothing wrong with disagreement. Hell, our own review of the game featured two scores that were pretty far apart. Flower seems to be one of those games you just like, or you don’t like. Regardless of how you feel about it, though, comments like these are usually unnecessary…

Just another stupid game for stupid people. if I had my way I would drag the developers into the street and shoot them all.

You know, if we could shoot people every time they made a bad game, we probably wouldn’t have very many game developers left.

Of course, many people use Flower as an opportunity to shit on the PS3:

Wooo, a pointless, pretentious semi-game to add to the steaming heap of pointless, pretentious, semi-gaming shite that is commonly referred to as the PS3’s ‘gaming’ catalogue.

Might as well pack a fucking kaleidescope in the PS3 box. It’s more interactive than the PS3.

In all honesty I’ve had a lot more fun playing with the packaging my Xbox was shipped in than all my PS3 playtime combined, and the packaging has been 100% fully interactive for all it’s play time.

It always confuses me when people get this worked up about games and systems. If you don’t like a game, don’t play it. If you don’t like a system, don’t play it. It’s really that simple. Oh, and to add to the hilarity, the guy with the “Xbox packaging” quote later revealed he didn’t actually own a PS3.

I think the following guys sum up the attitudes of a lot of people who are harboring some of this serious aggression. NEEDS MOAR VIOLENCE!

i cant shoot stuff? wtf sort of game is this?!?

wtf this game has no guns, cars, blood, zombies or tits.
can they seriously expect anyone to buy this?

alrigt… enough with da thubming me down alredy… is it so hard to understand dat many people dont wanna pley a gayflower when dey can do cool stuff like curb stomping some of dem grubbs listin to COOL music like gangsta rap…. Shit… stop thumbing me down already… therez so many ***holes on dis site dat r fanboys and cant stand wen a real gamer tell dem da truth…

RAAAAAAAGGGGGEEEE!!! I’m actually surprised it took me this long to find comments where people complained about the score.

Just realised.. This got a 9 and Fear 2 got a 5…? How fucked up is that? Go play with ur fucking pedals Rosemarry and fucking pussy ass mofos you make me sick. U r all planning on fucking ruining the hardcore and casual gamer with ur bitchiness and your fucked up Sony support or whatever else the fuck u would pay this shit for. It’s embarassing. Learn how to play fuckign videogames dumbasses.

Man, I wonder what this guy thinks about Braid?

I already hate it. The whole game looks like something Apple would slap its name on and what those douche bags yuppies want people to see them play in Starbucks. BTW, this IS a game… only it is such an incredibly shit game you can’t really define it as one. This hippie shit makes me curse my eyes that I was ever stupid enough to think that PS3 was the true hardcore system and that the 360 was a pale imitator.

And, as always, closing thoughts:

It’s really quite disturbing that so many people are getting angry or offensive over a game that has been tagged as arty. So fucking what?

Brilliant, at last another flower i can play with without the wife threatening to divorce me.

Aerox