Fanboy Friday E3 Extravaganza: Sony Press Conference

Alright, we’re finally almost there. Having covered Microsoft’s conference on Friday and Nintendo’s conference on Saturday, it’s time to wrap it up by looking at what Sony announced.

After the disappointing response to Nintendo’s conference, I was worried that people were just too tired to care about any of the pressers beyond Microsoft’s, but after spending hours searching through this nonsense for today’s article, I can assure you this is not the case. Nintendo is basically entirely out of the fanboy war, with those who enjoy the Wii mostly living inside a protective bubble – ignored by the Microsoft/Sony fanboys and allowed to happily keep to themselves. I guess that’s good for them, but it’d be nice to see some old fashioned Wii fights like what happened back when the system came out.

Anyway, enough about Nintendo – onto Sony! But first (/ChenBot), this inspiring quote:

Lol… Freedom of speech, get use to it 😉 It aint gunna stop anytime soon… Nothing you could possibly say that would stop anybody from being a ‘fanboy’ 🙂 We give our opinions, and some more aggresively than others… you just gotta get use to it 😉

With Microsoft’s press conference already completed, the general attitude toward’s Sony’s announcements were much more combative than any of the ones before it. Since Microsoft had the luxury of/intelligence to go first, at the time of the conference they weren’t able to be compared to anything else being shown at E3. Since Sony wrapped up the major conferences, everything they did was viewed through the lens of what had already been announced by everyone else.

Jack Tretton rolled out on stage to get the party started, and the party ended up being a whole bunch of self-congratulatory statistics trying to convice people that the PS3 was selling really well. BORING! After droning on and on and making a bunch of lame jokes about how most of their stuff got leaked, he finally got to the first big game – Uncharted 2.

looks awesome, but still not crysis-awesome

Wooh gay game

Better be some interactive sex in this game.

Geez, why does this have to be only on PS3? Now I feel like I have an actual reason to buy a glorified Blu-ray player

Looks like drake gets to slam a girl in this one! that blonde girl knew how to handle that pistol rocket launcher but straight up denied nathans ass

Woot! Uncharted 2 is looking INSANE! Sorry Xbox 3-shitty fanboys, but you might as well sell that hunk of junk and go buy yourselves a Trey. Trey 4 Lyfe!!!

This is gonna fuckin own Queers of war 2. But then even the Hanna Montana PSP is a improvement over that game.

en 2:22 FAILLLL!!!!!! salta desde el aire, sin estar un suelo debajooo!!!!!!!!

Ok, some mixed reviews on Uncharted 2. Everyone knew it was coming though, so people probably got fanboyed out from when it was originally announced. Next up was MAG, the game with the most generic title ever.

CoD and Halo are the most popular and played FPS this gen for a reason – they’re very well made and have fantastic gameplay mechanics that make them unique, fun, addictive and competitive. NOT because there are a lot of players. Only the kids fall for the “OMG OVER 200 PLAYRZ!!!!!” gimic. But atleast even them (or most atleast) will go back to CoD after while (in this case, Modern Warfare 2)

yea waffle get som…MAG will be awesome u just dont own a ps3 thats y ur mad

Plain and simple MAG can never be matched to COD or Halo Why because MAG is a Real War Battlefield and all COD and Halo have is what i call a 12 year olds paradise small maps close combat fire fights where’s the action its like throwing a hot dog in a hallway its funny but to short so theres is my two cents to you SukBoXs Fan boys Get a real game you cant hide behind from Halo or even COD for ever

Well…This game looks like a big fucking overdose of complication. People giving orders???LOL Good luck with that.

i can haz halo 3 pl0x? (Editor’s Note: I want to stab anyone who says ‘plox’ instead of please.)

Lol. Ps3 fanboy baiting is so fun. “LOL I SPENT TWICE AS MUCH AS EVERYONE ELSE SO I GOTTA ACT LIKE PS3 IS THE BEST THING EVER!!!1one”

PC FPS is shit for me cuz i prefer a nice trigger to pull instead of a mouse… i no you can get a joystick for the PC but people with the mouses just turn way fast and just kill you easily if you have a Joystick…. (Editor’s Note: BAHAHAHAHAHA.)

Lol im all about fanboy arguements mate 🙂 PS3 has great games =D Xbox doesnt have alot of good exclusives at all… just Fable 2 i think and mass effect…. Joystick controlers ftw 😉

TREY 4 LIFE KILLZONE2 and MAG owns the whole SHITBOX CONSOLE

wow this game looks like shit fuck ps3

PS3 is the BEST system ever created on this fuking planet & thats that, 360 cant come close to the ps3 only good game they have is halo & gears of war, MAG is going to rape the 360 franchise & 40% or more of 360 fans are going to sell their piece of shyt system/games & convert to ps3 for MAG lolz & thats the truth do NOT deny it hehe >=p

Shut the fuck up no one cares about MAG except u gamer fags The average person wouldnt care if they were playin MAG or farcry u guys defend your consoles like its your girl friends with probably dont have & online girls dont count get up get fit get pussy dont play gta 4 all day & act like your a thug

Ok….. U a ll sun of a bitches… Yeahh thats right i just said that your mom is a bicth!!!!!!!! U all talkin smack about the game and da PSA just because u dont have 1. HAAAHAAAHAA WHAT NIGAAS U CANT AFFORD !. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!! So shut your mouth and go masturbate. Psssssssssssshhhhhhhhhh BITCHES

Ahhhhh. Here we go. It’s already better than all of the comments about Nintendo, and we’re only two things in. I love fanboys.

Next up, Jack talks a bit about the PSP, and mentions Dissidia and Hannah Montana shit. Short stuff, everyone already knows about Dissidia, and no one cares about Hannah Montana (except for R3Y, apparently), so no real interesting comments there. In the interest of space, since this was the LONGEST PRESS CONFERENCE EVER, I’m going to move on to the more interesting fanboy bait.

Tretton leaves, and out comes Hirai. He’s here to introduce the PSP Go. I wonder what the internet thinks about this…

That looks ugl*battery dies*

You’re all idiots that don’t do your research. This is meant for a more portable, digital-download future with a smaller handheld. It might not appeal to you, it doesn’t to me, but it’s a nice alternative to the regular PSP. Kill yourselves.

This looks like a psp for retards. Someone should get fired for this seriously.

LOL, Sony is fucking stupid, who the fuck is going to buy the games? When you can just fucking download them off different sites, their stupid making it all digital….

now the big questions is how much is it going to be i am not going to pay fucking 300 bucks for a psp i think sony should sale this for 199 or 99 bucks do u know how many units would sale if it was for 99 bucks sony always over price shit and times like this know one whats to but a game for 199

This thing SUCKS. WTF. Why Sony? The DS sucks (IMO), and now the PSP sucks? -Sigh…

NOW LISTEN TO ME ALL OF YOU! This is a FAKE my Uncle works in the GRAPHICS department for the company who is making the new Sony Handheld and he said it is a HD SCREEN therefore it has to be BIGGER than the original PSP – 3000 And anyway you see this all the time with cars where they make one up to get peoples interest then they change the model! So stop thinking this is REAL!!

Those dicks. Those fuckin jerks. Sony, I officially condemn you to hell. The PSP was moderately okay with the new price. And I expected something for a gamer, not a whiny fan with all this commotion about a new PSP. But all you do is make the PSP more fragile and less ergonomical. But that’s my fault for expecting you to have touchscreen or 2 analog sticks. NO. I apologize for being suckered into the idea Sony wan’t just in it for the money, but for the gamer.

So, no one cares about the PSP Go, not even Sony fans. Sorry Sony! Maybe once you announce some new PSP games, people will get excited again. What about Gran Turismo PSP?

amazing graphics for a psp.ds technology is a joke i might buy a psp when this comes out.

iPhone can do this no prob

nope, it doesn’t. iphone’s graphics is a piece of shit. i think, a single car’s tire has more poligons, than iphone can handle at all.

OMG it looks better than pro street on 360and ps3 them graphics are sexy

cool, looks better than that tripe microsoft (Forza 3/ xbox 360) were trying to tout as the best driving game on any console ever!! (Editor’s Note: TAKE THAT ALEX)

Ohh my god, looks even better than a Wii game! How is this possible?! 

ok this wat i think of ur driving
1. you want to be in front of everyone straight away which makes u have reckless driving
2. u suck
3.i could own u!

Well, good reaction on Gran Turismo. Is Sony shaping up to have the most popular E3 conference? Well, here comes Metal Gear Solid: Peacewalker, so I think you can imagine what the reaction to this will be.

I like the fact that there is a new mgs game, but seems like a waste not to develop it for ps3

ps3 sucks anus

Why does his stealth suit have orange on it, as well as those faggy samurai shoulder pad things?

i lieked the part were snake sneeked into snakes box :DD

under box are two joy…some fun! I think, this graphic from PS3 (almost PS2)

This sucks!!!!! it looks like fuckin PS1 graphics!!!! They should have put it on the PS3 dude!!!

that looks like pure crap, is this a fake

Is Snake gay if he gives his clone a bj??

wtf is this for? DS? goddamn everything is on DS
i give it a 3, just because i hate the DS

I say the title should be renamed to “Peace, Nigga” and the plot should be about Snake’s black clone.

Then, there’s a really boring montage of a whole bunch of PSP games that will be coming out. Most of the stuff flashes by so quickly that there’s not enough time to really even start to form fake outraged opinions about it. Blah blah blah PSP blah blah. Then some more blabbing about PSN and Home. Chun-Li goes bowling. Yet ANOTHER really quick montage, this time of PS3 games, and then we finally get to something substantial. Assassin’s Creed 2.

he can shot his knifes now? that’s the only new thing i saw here :/

omfg it wasn’t till the blood when i remembered that it was animation not real life

The first assasins creed was the best game i have ever played (and i have played alot of games)

shut it just cas ps3 way better than 360 and ow w8 im sorry ure probaly to poor to own 1 so back of kepe u thouts about ps3 to ure self and again its just cas u to poor

wow oh 360 fanboys this is recorded on the ps3 360 cant scratch this gears of war i heard does the highest graphics for the 360 because err THE 360 GPU IS THE A PC DUH ps3 all the way

He Haz A Finger… He Get One Sued On Or SUm Cuz Now He Haz A Finger.

ufc shits on this game

omg i am gonna be soooo pissed if this guy doesnt have a kick ass name like altier hahahaha lk if his name is bob or jack im gonna throw a brick at some ones face

bitch ill shit in your fucking mouth you fucking nigger sucker
卍卍卍卍卍卍卍卍卍卍卍卍卍卍卍卍卍卍卍卍卍卍卍卍卍卍
WHITE POWER MOTHER FUCKER
GO EAT SOME BAT SHIT YOU BACKWOODS CONVICT PIECE OF GARBAGE THROWN OUT BY ENGLAND NO ONE LIKES YOUR SHITTY ASS COUNTRY

Delightful. Next up, we have a double dose of Final Fantasy. Final Fantasy XIII video, and then the shocking announcement of Final Fantasy XIV Online. We covered FFXIII with the Microsoft press conference, so here we’ll focus on the new MMO.

Only faggots play final fantasy, thats common knowledge my friend. Like, overweight nerd faggots that wear Billy Talent shirts. Youre queer for even mentioning that pixie prancing bitch game

“under the eldritch veil of a crimson shadow” nice writing fucktards

PS3 exclusive? Fucking bullshit.

ur a fag nigga

Oh god, more Sony shit to shovel down our throats. “Epic !” “Bigger!””More Funner!” ROR!

shouldnt you be circle jerking with the rest of the anime club over cat girl pictures?

oh god… if 360 buys out this game itll be crap for sure. i bought FFXI a while back for it and it was that gay PlayOnline thing which made me pay per month. and i couldnt even fucking return the game to gamestop cuz of some code or whatever.

Lol, butthurt double nigger faggot is butthurt. Look, the 360 might be “weaker” than the PS3 but game companies aren’t doin’ a damn thing to make it shine. The truth of the matter is, PS3 is floundering. At this rate, it just might go under. Then again, it could climb above even the selling power of the Wii. Faggots like you should have no business playing games. How about own all 3 systems so you can play all exclusives and quit the bitching? Or just go PC and STFU.

Your a retard we dont have to pay to play online not like the xbot360. Also we have a choice to play this or not dummy. So go suck on bill gates dick you faggit.

PS3 only xbots faggits. Shitbox360 dont even have a harddrive. LMAO That too bad. You pay to play online and if u play this game u have to pay again. LMAO Take that xfags microsoft sucks dick

It’s been kind of surprising so far. While people shit talk all the consoles in pretty much every coment thread, the PS3 fans seem to be, on the whole, FAR more defensive than everyone else. Maybe it’s because they put up with shit for so long? I dunno.

Ok, now we get to the REALLY good stuff. PS3 motion control glowy wand!

The new Sony Deel-Dough

project natal, not only was presented by the master of over-hyping, but also is mostly useless, how many actual games will use technology like NATAL’s? thousands of games and use technology like this one (and he couldn’t hit anything cause the depth precision is messed up, what did you expect from a WIP?) and besides, the archery mechanics look fucking awesome

This is better than natal because when you move with the control, the screen itself looks different. And a button is better than using your finger to pull a trigger (natal)

i found this very cool and it was a real live tech demo unlike the wii style ad microshaft shat out of their arse bad acting included for free. And this is realistic and sensitive, so fuck if the guy on the video was shit at using it, doesnt mean its not a good product, and its light years ahead..in development against that nasal crap, at least this is possible.

microsoft noob thieves and wiitards beat that now epic noobz! U still dont understand why ps2 was te greatest console ever! Ps3 is just one step ahead and dont think sony is dumbo like you noobz u suck and time is showing that.

this is for faggots

that’s fucked up sony xbox 360 has making a motion camera so you don’t need a controller that is so much cooler than that f*cking dildo thing that you have to hold

Project Natal blows this out the water, they need a glowy red stick to track movement while natal just uses a depth sensor to track full body movement. I suggest the japs should come up with something original then try to suck up to microsoft.

Heres Something not takein in to account MoveMent

Do you realize the Milo Project is from LionHead Studios, Milo is created by them by using the system NATAL, NATAL has endless possibilities in games, milo is omthing Liosn Head studios have came up with, and dont get all narky to say” ow i would rather shoot him”, when u all know PS3 suck ass BIG TIME XBOX 360’s RULE 4 eva, GO NATAL!!! FUCK PS3 the nearest thing they have to Natal is the fuking EyeToy, AND THAT IS SHOCKING!!

i know wouldnt buy this if i had the ps3 just like i wont get the natal for my xbox cuz you would look like a retard ofcourse it would be a inresting thing but how would u play a game where u actually have to walk with it to move around a map really cool stuff all around at this e3 just nothing (except some games) that i would buy also hows the natal fake lol

PROJECT NATAL muthafuckers……………… ..xD NOTHING BEATS XBOX 360 p.s every1 of u noe it cause microsoft is doin work…………….. n if none have heard of it u need 2 do sum research cause its gonna change the gaming world

they need to give these things to the communities with the highest crime rates, namely the ones with all the gangsters in them. then, they can play this instead of killing normal innocent people!!! (sure, they can continue killing their gang rivalzz)

Then, we get a look at ModNation, the new customizable racing game. Unfortunately, everyone was racing their computer to bitch about Natal and the PS3 motion wand, so this announcement was largely ignored by most of the fanboys.

Next up, we see Last Guardian, which is the real name of Project Trico. Since there was a Fanboy Friday on this recently, go read that. A few really short teasers for stuff like Gran Turismo 5, and then we get to the big finale. God of War 3.

may be it would be better if this were for xbox 360 more fame, more publicity much better jajajajajjjajajajjajjaaja XBOX 360 daddy of evry1…sotty kratos i recommend u to change parents…

Gaystation for another gayfanboy

if it’s gonna be another fight this horde of monsters then sovle this gay puzzle game. i dont want it. i mean the fighting was great in gow2 but man all the puzzles really took away from the experience.

lol…EVEN if gaybox gets mgs…um their STILL gonna SUCK and be LAME….PS3 OWNZ itz number 1!i can BET the faghbox will not be gettin NOMORE PS3 EXCLUSIVES…NEVER and that is a big “FACT”

over hyped! just anothe crappy button masher fuck

THIS GAME LOOKS LIKE SHIT!!!! SAME OLD ASS ENGINE LIKE THE PS2 VERSION JUST BETTER GRAPHICS. Not to mention, these graphics aren’t to hot either :/ i’m disappointed

shut the fuck up sony fanboy. Mate ps3 is shit let face it xbox 360 is the gaming mans console and the ps3 is the rich boys console so what if it has a blu-ray player i got one and ps3 gets mgs it coming to xbox. Your online suck dick and have you herd of the yellow light of death type it up you fucking pikey

when they released the god3 gameplay trailer ealier this year wasn’t gameplay it just like killzone sony are fucking shit fucking liyers

xbox 360 is 10x better. and if we did get our hands on this game… we would make it way better than ps3. ps3 doesnt bring out the full potential of any game they make… only xbox. I dont know why ps3 and nintendo wii keeps trying to compete against xbox. YOU GUYS WILL NEVER BE BETTER THAN US. please stop trying. YOUR system ways a ton, you guys lag way too much online. YOUR INTERFACE is stupid.  its like having a big psp. your system is STUPID.

sure the graphics look ps2 i admit, but that doesn’t mean they won’t polish it up

haha it comes out in da month of my b-day nd i will be 17 so i can get it witout an adult lol

And there you have it. E3 in a nutshell, as told by fanboys. Now that I’m finally finished with all three of these, I think I’m going to go jump in the shower and try to wash off the horror and shame I felt as I dug through the various forums and comment threads where all this nonsense was being spewed.

If you’re not all fanboyed out, feel free to start a war in the comments thread. Who won E3? You must have at least 4 words per sentence misspelled, and you have to justify your answer by attacking the other two conferences and spouting off on irrelevant tangents. 

Have fun! 

Aerox