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Dildos here! Get your Pokemon dildos here!

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And a Pikachu butt plug, too

Sure, you've got your local gym on lock with a devastating Kabutops, your place of employ fortuitously is dropping lures like stacks to bring in the foot traffic, maybe you've even laid some pipe with the Pokemon Go dating app.

But have you almost decapitated a Squirtle with your vagina?

That's the question posed by the "Pokemoan" line of the Etsy shop GeekySexToys, which has about 100 of these handmade silicon toys left in stock. There are three starter Pokemon dildos -- Bulby, Charmy, and Squirty -- and a Pikachu tail butt plug. I like the Bulby, which "has a large seed tip making it a very pleasurable friend to have," mostly because there's just a nutsack at the end of it. And the Piky because who doesn't want to fuck a yellow mouse?

May your next Pokemon Go dick appointment be blessed with a rat tail in the bum.

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Steven Hansen
Steven HansenContributor   gamer profile

Steven watches anime & sports, buys meat out of trucks, dates a Muppet, and is only good at cooking. He stands before you bereft of solace and well on the road to perdition. ('^ω^) more + disclosures


 


 


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