Dead or Alive movie garners positive review; Zombie Norman Mailer weeps

The Village Voice, “New York’s most influential must-read alternative newspaper”, just posted a review of  DOA: Dead or Alive, the film based on the Dead or Alive series of fighting games that is simply stunning. Luke Y. Thompson, who, for the sake of this post, we shall assume is a badger, offers up mind-boggling quotes regarding the film such as the following gem:

… one of the year’s purest entertainments, the best butt-kicking PG-13 bikini jigglefest since the first Charlie’s Angels flick.

Or this snippet of journalistic menstruation:

It’s awesome.

Now, I don’t want to accuse Mr. Thompson of rampant Ecstasy abuse, mostly for fear of his large claws and powerful jaws, but using a loaded term like “awesome” in a review of this film is tantamount to describing Fergalicious as “a tour-de-force that will impregante the barren and heal the lame”. I don’t want to defame the efforts of a talented fight choreographer like Corey “Hell’s Wind Staff” Yuen, but when questioned about the film, noted autuer Roman Polanski reportedly quipped:

… really, it f***ing hurt my soul to watch it. After watching half of it, I felt so very unclean. It was quite possibly the most disturbing thing I’ve ever witnessed.

[Props to BlueWolf72 for sending this our way]

 

Earnest Cavalli
I'm Nex. I used to work here but my love of cash led me to take a gig with Wired. I still keep an eye on the 'toid, but to see what I'm really up to, you should either hit up my Vox or go have a look at the Wired media empire.