According to your priest, masturbating while rubbing up against your Xbox 360 like a kitten in heat is a sin, but thankfully, the Internet is as hedonistic as Sodom, and Destructoid fully encourages you to
“physically stimulate your genitals” while watching these HD videos of the new content coming to everyone’s favorite Halo 3 beta pack-in.
The first one, the one you see above all of these words, is a medley of the new game types you’ll find in the DLC. If Rocket Tag is anything like my ex-wife, you’d think I would be able to come up with a clever joke about it!
Hit the jump for more videos.
UPDATE: Since this whole DLC deal just hit the XBL marketplace, you could spend your time watching these videos, or you could just go download it all. We trust you to make the right choice.]
This next video highlights the additional vehicles being added to the game. The Patrol Buggy is probably going to be the favorite of the bunch based on its ability to jump around like a fourteen year old House of Pain fan, but personally, I’m looking forward to the Armored Vehicle. Nothing says “I have absolutely no inadequacy issues” like driving around in a six-ton block of steel.
The final video demonstrates the new equipment and weapons we’re going to get our hands on in the ongoing battle to shoot our friends off of the tops of tall buildings.
I have to admit, when I first saw that shot, thirty seconds in, where the innocent woman is pinned to the lamp post, I started coming up with plausible reasons as to what she did to her husband to deserve such horrific abuse, but after running through the usual gamut of “burnt dinner”, “coughed too loudly” and “sassed”, I realized that she probably died alone and unloved.
PacoDG for the heads-up on the top video, and for being a “cuddler”.]
I used to work here but my love of cash led me to take a gig with Wired.
I still keep an eye on the 'toid, but to see what I'm really up to, you should either hit up my Vox or go have a look at the Wired media empire.
More Stories by Earnest Cavalli