Contest: WHAT’S IN THE BOX?! (part one)

Today we’re giving away … well, I have no idea what we’re giving away. We have four boxes of mystery swag sitting in the offices and two of the boxes are being given away for today’s contest (the other two boxes will be given away tomorrow). There might be games, there might be shirts, there might even be fetuses in the boxes! I really have no idea.

So how do you win one of the two boxes? For today’s contest, we want you to take this news story about Left 4 Dead 2’s DLC featuring the original four survivors and re-write it in the style of a Dtoid editor. Channel your inner Chester, Sarkar, Nicholson, Concelmo or any of the other staff members as you re-write the story in one of our styles. Each of us on staff has a persona, a certain style, when it comes to writing out stories for Destructoid and if you’ve been reading us long enough, then you know exactly how we all act.

You have until 11:59 PM CST tonight to submit your re-write in the comments below. The two best entries will get themselves a mystery box. Contest open to US residents only. IMPORTANT: If you’ve won any of the previous 25 days of giving contests this month, then you are ineligible to win today’s contest.

[Update: Winners are HarassmentPanda and DanlHaas!]

Hamza Aziz