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Comments of the Week: Rhyme for Reasons

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Promoted from our Community Blogs!

[Another Comments of the Week graces our eyes thanks to Dtoid community blogger Dreamweaver. This is a labor of love and we are all so happy to see it return. Enjoy! --Occams Electric Toothbrush]

So some of you be spitting rhymes 

And some of you are rapping 
Well, I suppose it's my time now, 
Just let me finish fapping. 

(...Okay, I'm done.) 

Thinking I'm finished after I bust twice 
Just 'cause I got two nuts? 
Well, joke's on you sucker, 
I got more of that in my guts (that's weird) 

No way, Jose, 
Please pardon my cliche 
'Cause there ain't nothing about me that's weak 
So welcome back to Comments of the Week! 

That's right, Capital Wasteland: it's that time again! For those who don't know, this is basically a showcase of comments created by the community that were collected to be shared in one convenient location! So, had to miss out on some of the awesomeness that happens around here because of work or school, or any other personal matters? Well, then this is for you!

As always, comments will be placed within three categories:

TRUTH: for when you nod your head in agreement.

LOL: for when you couldn't control it anymore.

WUT?: for when you heard right, but still have no idea what they're saying.

Anyway, enough blabbering and rapping, let's start this party off with a little stabbing.

From If you preordered Lucario at Toys"R"Us, it should be shipping soon 


Dreamweaver: If you had to pick an Amiibo to shank someone with, which one would you pick? I'd go for Rosalina: that crown on her head's gotta do some damage.

Dreamweaver: If you don't like it, don't read it. Come on now, you expended more energy typing that up than just ignoring it.

From The Witcher 3 team recorded 16 hours of motion capture for sex scenes 


Dreamweaver: Who else thinks there needs to be a fleshlight/dildo peripheral on our controllers to solve this conundrum? I mean, why else do they call a joystick a "joystick?"

 

Dreamweaver: This sounds so straight out of a sitcom I just had to include it.

From Persona 4 Dancing All Night's theme is just groovy 

Dreamweaver: It's true: we will.

From Nintendo manufactured mysterious silver and gold Super Mario Amiibo 


Dreamweaver: What did Iwata have to say about causing the end of the world? "Please understand."

From It looks like Mega Man Amiibo might be delayed




Dreamweaver: Being a Mega Man fan nowadays is akin to being a masochist: Capcom's the dominatrix, and all us the bitches.

From Pokemon: A poem for Gardevoir 


Dreamweaver: Do I wanna know what a Shiny version of an STD would be?

From Five things about the Persona 5 trailer from someone who knows nothing about Persona 


Dreamweaver: "Life is Strange"? Sounds like an expansion pack for Second Life or The Sims to me.

From EX exec admits games are "too hard" 


Dreamweaver: I miss good instruction manuals, not like those cruddy brochures or multi-language ones. I can't tell you how often I pick up a manual, thinking "wow, that's thick!" then open up to see it repeated across six different dialect.

From Destructoid saves the world: XCOM hasn't killed any of us yet



Dreamweaver: Dammit, Lauri Hepooja; Survival sci-fi rule number one: you NEVER call out a cliche!

From Metal Gear Rising 2 might be a thing that's happening 


Dreamweaver: What's harder: Sephzilla's body, or Mike Martin's erection?

From The hunt for the Rosalina Amiibo is on today, here's what I found 


Dreamweaver: There's no way I can possibly top that so I'm not even gonna try.

From These first 18 minutes of Bloodborne make me feel all tingly 


Dreamweaver: Funny, when I hear a "your mom" joke, I have a different "four letter word" in mind.

From Somone leaked more over-the-top Just Cause 3 screens 


Dreamweaver: Just Cause WHAT?

From Final Fantasy creator Hironobu Sakaguchi to receive GDCA Lifetime Achievement Award 


Dreamweaver: And you won "featured comment"! That's like, twice the achievement, the peak of your career!

From Four Mortal Kombat X worth fighting for 






Dreamweaver: Andy. ANDY. STAWP.

From Mortal Kombat X introduces online factions and brings back the Challenge Tower 

Dreamweaver: OH GAWD, IT'S SPREADING!

From Mecha Trigger made me feel real dumb before it made me feel (kind of) smart 


Dreamweaver: It was the opposite for me: I thought I knew what I was doing until she told me I was licking the wrong hole.

From Mecha Trigger made me feel real dumb before it made me feel (kind of) smart

From Persona 4: Dancing All Night gets custom Vita in Japan

 

 

Dreamweaver: "Summer? I hardly know her!"

 

From The Witcher 3 team recorded 16 hours of motion capture for sex scenes 

 

 

Dreamweaver: As did I! My 16 hours footage involves me cumming once than sleeping the rest of the 15 hours and 59 minutes.

 

From Nintendo manufactured mysterious silver and gold Super Mario Amiibo

 

 

Dreamweaver: Psh, don't let him fool you: they clearly forgot to paint it SILVER.

 

 

From You could have your artwork featured in Udon's Capcom Fighting Tribute

 

 

Dreamweaver: That should totally be the next community project!

 

From Pokemon: A poem for Gardevoir

 

 

Dreamweaver: *Sigh* Why do the hot girls always go for the guys with the big sticks up their butts? Wait... that's not a stick... that's his pocket monster, isn't it?

 

From Experience Points .02: Shadow of the Colossus

 

 

Dreamweaver: This is why the "Wut?" tag exists, people.

 

From MLB 15: The Shows bat grain 10th anniversary edition

 

Dreamweaver: I vote that "Good man it" as a new kiddie swear.

 

From Paul Robertson's Simpsons tribute is surprisingly safe for work

 

 

Dreamweaver: WHAT A TWIST!

 

From Five things we just learned about Persona 5

 

 

Dreamweaver: That's what most of us thought....

 

 

Dreamweaver: This is what you guys thought.

 

 From The Witcher 3 team recorded 16 hours of motion capture for sex scenes

 

Dreamweaver:...Wut? Porn isn't an accurate portrayal of life? EVERYTHING I KNOW IS A LIE!

 

 

Dreamweaver: You never did answer that. For science.

 

That's it for this blog! Tune in next week for hopefully another edition of Comments of the Week! Who knows, maybe YOU could be featured for all of us to laugh at!

 

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ONE OF US WAS FRONT-PAGED! HOW THIS WORKS:

This story was submitted via our Community Blogs, and ultimately made it to the home page! Anybody can get on the homepage of Dtoid when you piss excellence. Want in? Write a longform blog with photos and senpai may notice you (our community committee picks the promos). It happens all the time: read more promoted stories

 

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If you want to know more about me, you can check out my contribution to the "10 things about ourselves" blog, that Mr. Andy Dixon asked us all to write as well as any other personal blogs here:  more + disclosures


 


 



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