Comments of the week: Fishcats

I told them not to toy with nature. Now look what they have done. 

Comments of the Week is a feature where we scour the front page, community blogs and forums picking out comments. The ones that make you think, the ones that make you laugh and the ones that make you cry (but also laugh), and consolidate them into an entertaining package for the viewing pleasure of you, the Destructoid community. 

Comments will fall into three categories: 

TRUTH: Squirrel on a tree branch. 

LOL: Squirrel on waterskis. 

WUT? Squirrel on a bed of rice. 

[Many thanks to LawofThermalDynamics for contributing to this week’s comments] 

Sean: From Dtoid Cupid: I want to date Alyssa Bereznak thread 

Sean: I would like to go out with her because I have money and a nice car and I think she would respond well to those kind of personality traits. 

Oh wait, she used to have a job writing on the internet? Pass. No geek girls please thanks. 

Law: Sean, I’d gladly give Alyssa a date, but she better not be a woman cause that’s a deal breaker. 

Law: From PAX: Eyes on with a bigger, better Assassin’s Creed 

Law: Regardless of how you feel about yearly releases, one thing we can all agree on is that cheap games are usually a good thing. 

Sean: I agree. Though my bank manager doesn’t see it that way when I try to explain to him where all my money went. 

Law: From Gamestop sorry for Deus Ex: HR removal, still doing it 

Law: One day we’ll have a unified system where all video game companies will work hand in hand with each other to provide a universal system of video game co-distribution and co-development…Until then I guess we’re stuck with Capitalism : ( 

Sean: Woah woah woah, “unified”? “universal”? Isn’t that the same kind of thinking that went into building Skynet in The Terminator? Look what happened to that idea.

I don’t want to live in a future where small patches of human resistance fight against video game companies for control of the planet, and nor should you.

Law: From Two Tetris games exemplify the problem with 3DS gaming 

Law: Once I locked myself away in a room. Bottle of cola, music, and a marathon game of Tetris. That’s how you get things done son. 

Law: From Skyrim will fit on one Xbox 360 disc so you can relax now 

Law: Yeah okay, superior power, only needs one disc, console wars, blah blah blah, the bottom line is that getting up and switching disc is a litmus test to separate lazy gamers and the simply apathetic. 

Sean: Back in the day I had Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis on the Amiga. It came on 11 discs. You had to swap them constantly. We will never see those days again. 

Law: From: Comments of GoldenGamerXero 

Law: This is some Inception…woah. BWAAAAAAAAANG 

Law: From Season Pass for Gears of War 3 DLC announced 

Law: Exactly. 

Sean: Wait, wasn’t Gears of War 3 cancelled? 

Just kidding Jimmy. Don’t kill yourself. 

Sean: From You Laugh, You Lose 

Sean: Presumably, nor was dignity. 

Law: From This is what vandalism looks like at PAX 

Law: I wish played more Metal Gear so that I can make a joke about that, but the comment is already funny in its own right. On a related note, I was at PAX over the weekend and I’m kicking myself for not taking a dump on this toilet…Oh yes, you better believe there would have been pictures. 

Sean: Some alternative videogame graffiti:

The cake is a lie. 
There was a HOLE here. It’s gone now. 
Or my favorite: 

Sean: From You Laugh, You Lose 

Sean In Hader’s defence, both pictures were in the “Wrinkly Things” folder. 

Law: From Skyward Sword Special Edition has a gold Wii Remote 

Law:…What? You expect anything else? 

Sean: From Driver San Francisco dev defends ‘always on’ DRM 

Sean: I can hardly believe these rates! I must be crazy for giving these kind of rates away! 

Remember that Ubisoft is from France, home of liberty, equality and fraternity. Bitter irony is bitter. 

Law: From ILU PAX 

Law: Legit blog gets legit comment. 

Law: From Call of Duty Elite Premium gets priced at $49.99 a year 

Law: Or you’ll what? Burn the internet down? I’ll have you know that Sean’s a volunteer fireman so I’d like to see you try! 

Sean: I’ve covered flame wars, you know. 

Sean: From Quick hands-on with Modern Warfare 3’s multiplayer 

Sean: One time, a moal came right at me, and I had to kill it with a nife. 

Law: I saw that. The moal was liek “Here I am!” and you were like “No way!” and then you stabbed it. Crazy stuff man. 

Law: From EA: Call of Duty’s going to get some ‘real competition’ 

Law: I literally put this in the “Wut?” section because he sounds so sure of which game will be better yet doesn’t specify. Tell me oh clairvoyant one for I must have missed the memo. 
[Note: This entry isn’t necessarily bad by any means, it just simply made me say “What?” when reading through it.]

Sean: I can see what Law is saying but I’m going to have to agree with General Zod and say I am totally psyched now thanks to EA’s constant coverage of the upcoming The Sims 3: Pets

Sean: From Namco and Tecmo’s new PS3 game might be One Piece Musou 

Sean: Today’s top story: Man has skin-tearing erection, still not sure if he had an erection at all. 

Law: From EA tweaks Origin EULA, makes it sound less like spyware 

Law: ………………What? 

Sean: I for one welcome the added intrusion and hope we have our privacy further invaded. For instance, I can only pee if someone is standing next to me. 

Law: From Redhead FemShep winning Mass Effect 3 box art vote 

Law: I don’t think that’s a statement one should make so easily and assuredly. I for one find it sexy to have the universe saved by a woman…er…was that not politically correct enough for anyone? 

Sean: Well, Law, since you didn’t append the sentence with “…as long as they also found time to make me a sandwich.” I think you’ll get away with it. 




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