Being a nerd is fantastic.
No, correction: being a nerd that works for Destructoid is fantastic.
See that above picture? That’s Justine Joli. And if you haven’t noticed, SHE HAS HER TOP OFF! How did that happen, you ask? Well, last night a large group of DtoidLA people and I went to the launch party for the Nerdcore 2009 calendar. At one point I approached Justine (we are on a first name basis now) and told her I worked for Destructoid and would love to get a picture with her. No joke, before I could even finish my sentence she ripped her shirt off, pressed her hakuna matatas up against me, and posed for a picture.
The moral of this story? Dropping the Destructoid name results in boobies. CONFIRMED!
It goes without saying that the fine folks over at Nerdcore threw one helluva party -- it was easily one of the best videogame events I have ever been to. And, man, things got wild. Like, naked people, drink-spilling, nipple-biting kind of wild.
Hit the jump for some of the insane highlights and make sure to check out the NSFW gallery (courtesy of our very own Charlie Suh) for some of the most amazing pictures you will ever see.
Before reading any further, you really should click here and buy one of the 2009 Nerdcore Calendars. Not only are the Nerdcore guys great people, most of the models from the calendar were there last night and they all seemed really cool. It is our duty to support this level of win by buying one of the calendars. Also, by making such a smart purchase, you can have twelve pictures of completely naked chicks hanging on your wall all year long. Everyone wins!
The party took place in an awesome comic book shop on Melrose called Golden Apple Comics. The small but fully stocked store transformed itself for one night into the perfect location for a party. The front cashiers were selling the calendars, the back part of the shop played host to a giant table for the models to sign autographs/take off their tops (more on that later), and the outdoor parking lot in the back was used for the open bar and photo shoot area. It really was an ideal setup.
Here are some highlights of the incredible night:
-Since there were so many Destructoid people there (DtoidLA 4 life!) it truly felt like we were part of a giant (albeit geeky) entourage. It was amazing. Included in the huge group were: Dexter345, Aerox, Charlie Suh, Zero Atma, naia-the-gamer, MamaDonna, KyleGamgee, -D-, and myself. Everything would have been perfect if only we had a band playing some kind of funky theme song as we walked around. And by “funky theme song” I mean “One Jump Ahead” from Aladdin.
-Some of the models proved that they were actual nerds! Justine Joli in particular was caught playing a hardcore game of Puzzle Quest on her DS before the festivities began. Yup, that makes her all the more attractive.
-There was an open bar and most of the Destructoid entourage got a little ... er ... inebriated. Now, that may seem a little unprofessional to mention, but I feel the need to explain the cause of some of the pictures you will see in the attached gallery. Dexter345 biting Aerox’s nipple? That was completely alcohol-related. Me biting the other nipple? Well, that was just because I wanted to fit in.
-Some great industry people from Sony and GameTrailers were there. They are huge fans of Destructoid and couldn’t have been any nicer. I just wanted to give them a shout-out and let them know how much fun we all had hanging out with them.
-When Justine Joli took her top off for the main picture, the two of us were surrounded by gawking partygoers and a sea of clicking iPhone cameras. I felt like getting her to remove her clothes was a huge accomplishment -- in a way I felt like a gladiator that just defeated a raging lion in the coliseum ... until minutes later she started doing the same pose for everyone else. Dammit. At least Destructoid got the first scandalous shot, right?
-As the night went on things went from fun and organized to just flat-out chaos. At one point the bartender and the head of Nerdcore (friend of Dtoid Jon Gibson) were dragged to the photo shoot area by a gaggle of half-naked women. Amidst cheering from the perverted crowd, the girls ripped off the guys’ clothes and proceeded to basically molest them in front of everyone. Since I guess clothes flying everywhere caused some kind of Pavlovian reaction, most of the models joined the fun by ripping off their own clothes. The ringleader, of course, was fellow nerd (and apparent dominatrix) Justine Joli. And if you are curious, yes, I did propose to her and two other girls at one point in the night. Refer to three highlights up for the reason for this surprisingly and uncharacteristic outburst (hint: it involves vodka and cranberry).
-At the very end of the party all of the models decided to go across the street to a late night restaurant to eat chicken wings and hang out with all their newfound (horny) friends. Being the genius I am, I decided to go to In-N-Out (a famous California burger joint). Yes, I am an idiot. In my mind, I missed all the girls taking off their clothes and covering their bodies in wing sauce while all the patrons of the restaurant rubbed their delicious chicken on their bodies. All so I could have a burger with Aerox. Wow. Smart decision, huh?
All in all, the party was an amazing time. The folks at Nerdcore were all great and, obviously, the girls were a ridiculously fun time. Last year’s launch was fun, but this year took things to a new level. I am already looking forward to what 2010 has to offer.
Let’s just hope my new BFF Justine Joli makes another appearance. I would love to get in a quick co-op game of Puzzle Quest before downing all that vodka.