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Video Games are for a Woman's Gentiles


What's this shit about video games being for the hardcore? Video games are for geeks and losers who like to jack-off at pictures of fourteen years olds on 4chan. I work out at the gym everyday for six hours, try finding a fatty gamer who even knows what a gym is. I have a mega hot girl friend who sucks my cock whenever I tell her too. Her mom and sister are really hot too, sometimes we have a foursome while my buddy Dave video tapes us and puts it on my website. Yeah, I got my own website, I post pics of myself flexing for all the ladies out there. I mean come on who plays fucking video games? Killzone and Gears of War (not that I know what those are) aren't half as badass as me without my shirt on. Nothing beats my-modda-focking biceps, bitches!

Whoever says video games are artistic, fun, and promote socializing is a fucking idiot. I've gotten so much pussy that I could open a shelter for cats. I'm surprised my huge, sixteen inch penis hasn't fallen off yet from all the tail I score at the clubs every night. I'm like Tom Cruise, except I'm not gay, and I'm a better actor. Also, one time I got an offer to play in the NFL on any team I wanted, but I couldn't do it because I was already planning on being the first man on mars. I'm gonna punch a motherfucking Martian, man!

Blows your cock off doesn't it? I love my bros by the way. Not in a faggy, rainbow lover kind of way, I mean even if I was gay, and I'm totally not, I could probably score the hottest guy in the world. I'd get so much ass very night, then I... well... uh... anyway, the 360, PS3, Wii, and Atari are all stupid. If you want to be as awesome as me some day, forget it, but you might be able to get close if you work hard enough. I wouldn't know about any of that though, I'm fucking rich, and I can hire bitches to do hard work for me.So, ee ya, I've got to go lift weights, hang with the guys, solve world hunger y punching it in the face, and pleasure my girlfriend. "I'M THE MOTHERFUCKING BEST YEAAAAH!!!!"

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About wanderingpixelone of us since 4:29 PM on 02.08.2009

I am also a contributer on Damnlag dot com. You can read my column, Broken Pixels and check out all the other great stuff we've got going on there. Just remember to wear pants.

Anyway, about me...

My name is Jack Ninivaggi AKA Wandering Pixel, and I'm here to rock your world! Or at least cause some sort of tremor.

I live over on the east coast in New Jersey. My favorite types of games are those that have great writing. I'm going to college right now and plan on majoring in either communications or literature. When I'm not playing games I'm either reading a book or comic, watching a movie or sleeping. I'm a huge fan of animation and my favorite thing to do is watch old animated films, I'm also a theater geek, and frequently make trips to New York to watch the latest musicals and plays on Broadway. one day I plan on making a living by writing, though I haven't yet decided what kind of writing I want to do. Anyway, this is my blog. Enjoy!

You can contact me at [email protected]

I also have a Facebook you can check out here.

This is my interview, which was conducted by the oh so sexy LawofThermalDynamics.

My Idols:
Stanley Kubrick
Alan Moore
F. Scott Fitzgerald
Philip K. Dick
Steven Spielberg
Hiro Miyazaki
Brad Bird

Here are some lists of my favorite things in no particular order.

1.) Half-Life 2
2.) Bioshock
3.) Spyro the Dragon
4.) Sonic CD
5.) Shadow of the Colossus

1.) Blade Runner
2.) Ratatouille
3.) The Third Man
4.) Spirited Away
5.) Up

TV Shows:
1.) Lost
2.) Big Love
3.) Futurama
4.) Avatar: The Last Airbender
5.) Invader Zim

1.) Neon Genesis Evangelion
2.) Cowboy Bebop
3.) Akira
4.) Anything by Miyazaki
5.) Or anything with cool robots

1.) John Lennon
2.) Bob Dylan
3.) John Hiatt
4.) Idina Menzel
5.) Utada Hikari

1.) Harry Potter
2.) His Dark Materials
3.) The Great Gatsby
4.) Biographies
5.) World War Z

Graphic Novels
1.) Watchmen
2.) The Killing Joke
3.) The Long Halloween
4.) Ghost World
5.) From Hell

1.) Runaways
2.) Batman
3.) Hell Boy
4.) The Umbrella Academy
5.) X-Men

1.) Rent
2.) Wicked
3.) Little Shop of Horrors
4.) Avenue Q
5.) Sweeney Todd

1.) Speed the Plow
2.) Hamlet
3.) A Streetcar Named Desire
4.) Our Town
5.) Macbeth

1.) The New Yorker
2.) EGM
3.) Entertainment Weekly
4.) Game Informer
5.) The New York Times

Articles from the front page:
I, the Author: Midnight Run
Nothing is Sacred: Getting into Character
Video Game Characters Solve the Oil Spill Crisis

Motivational Poster Series
Destructoid Editors
Destructoid Community Members

Wandering Pixel's Guide to Amazing Games
Warpath: Jurassic Park

Useless Lists
Things to Do While Waiting for Your PS3 Game to Install
State Sex Moves(NSFW)
Present Tools of Destruction, The Top Ten Guns of All Time
5 Reasons Why I Want To Buy A PS3, But...
5 Of The Most Annoying Dicks In Gaming
Xbox LIVE:Pixel Jack
Steam ID:wanderingpixel
Mii code:I'm not memorizing another set of numbers


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