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LONG BLOG

My Wife, and Mass Effect.

   0
So, I love my wife, but damned if I can get her to play any game but Settlers of Catan on PS3. She loves games, and gaming but she is in school, as am I. She being the UBER "dedicated student" like "that damn girl who asks the complicated question 2 minutes before class ends" (A+ average) and I being the "... uhm... mmmkay" (maybe B's) type of student.

I bought Mass Effect, for myself, for my damn perpetually exploding (red ringing, like literally 5 times now) X360. I never have finished that game. This story however, doesn't end there. My brother-in-law in his infinite wisdom, decided that Mass Effect 2 would be a PERFECT birthday present.... for my wife. Real good call there bro... So I (naturally) not to let a game go to waste, start playing.. I get about 10 hours into it, before I make the resolute call that I simply can't finish this game, prior to beating the original. I suggest to my wife, that it MIGHT be a good idea, for her to try playing the original. Well, she tried. Then went into detail about how, there was too much talking, so she skipped most of it, and how it was like "a really shitty Halo wannabe".... To be fair, I think the main reason I did not finish Mass Effect at first, was the damn Mako. Yes, it was the ultimate rock-crawling-sniper-jeep, but it also felt like trying to steer a cow, and any random bump was enough to send you flying into god-knows-where.



By this point I had decided that there was literally no way in hell my wife was ever going to play, much less appreciate the badassery that is Mass Effect. So I decided that in an effort to (be a fucking uber geek) help my wife become illuminated, I fired up FRAPS, and started cutting together the cutscenes, music she likes, and the overall story into almost a serial drama. I was inspired by the brajillion and one videos of people playing Mass Effect on YouTube.

So I recorded damn near 2 TB of video of Mass Effect 1 and started, playing with ideas, finding good music, and learning how to actually do all the video editing crap. I cut together the first episode, "Eden Prime" and threw it on the flatscreen in the bedroom in place of her usual "Settling of Catan" The first episode was pretty damn crude, (as I had NO idea what I was doing) but she was hooked like crack. The game becomes so cinematic when you make sure the bloody subtitles are off, and ever since, she makes sure that I have new episodes being cut and rendered, and has started asking questions about the more "codex-level" background story. She has almost finished Mass Effect, and I think I only have "The Battle of the Citadel" and "Ilos" left to cut.

Last night, she discovered that there was "sex" in Mass Effect, and we had an interesting conversation:

Wife: "SO..... Is there some reason you didn't mention the fact that you can have Sex in Mass Effect?"

Me: " Well, I didn't consider subdued lighting and a little sideboob to really count as sex...."

Wife: "mmmmm....hmmmmm.... so you wouldn't be upset if I played a game and had sex with guys?"

Me: " are we forgetting about the sims? Doesnt your sim have like 2 babies and like 4 boyfriends?"

Wife: "that doesn't count, its not a real game"

Me: "I vote video games period don't count, otherwise I'll be screwed hereafter"

Wife: "Fine, but if you screw some weird tentacle-y thing, we are going to have issues"

Me: " I think thats usually a girl thing with the tentacles, but I'll try to restrain myself..."

****EDIT****

Because I was asked so nicely, I threw up the first 15 minutes of "episode 4" on youtube.
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About urbanknightone of us since 5:16 PM on 01.05.2011

I have been technomancing since Atari days.

Chrono Trigger.

Xenogears.

Blizzard and BioWare.



Story and overall "fun" value win the day for me.
Xbox LIVE:UKD
PSN ID:ukd76
Steam ID:http://steamcommunity.com/id/ukd


 

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