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The start of the affair: Command & Conquer

It was 1996. And I was nine. With trembling hands I fed the CD-ROM into my computer. The disc tray hungrily retreated back within its plasticised orifice. A light flashed with anticipation as a low mechanical hum began to build. Loud...

 
 
 

F*ck Australia

Australia may well be on the arse end of the world, but it shouldnt mean that Aussie gamers should have to put up with so much shit. 'What shit?' you may ask. Well, shit indeed, good sir. Censored Games What better place to start ...

 
 
 

Tag Etymology; Or, How’d You Get Your Name?

Tags are more than a mere alias. They embody the emancipating ability of cyberspace, a casting away of the shackles of reality, a ‘you’ simplified, self-engineered and passed through the scope of the internet. Or I could be reading into...

 
 
 
 

Separated at birth

I see similarities where ever i go. Take for example the Poopsmith and the Pyro, which I posted some months back. Just today, I noticed how similar Josef Ratzinger, AKA Popesmith, looks to evil Star Wars alien thingy Nute Gunray. Its s...

 
 
 

A GTAIV Retrospective/Wishlist

In a drunken haze I purchased a PS3 and from that fateful Sunday have invested a sinful amount of time in GTAIV. I’m quite sure many other people are maxing out that awesome little addiction stat right now, so I won’t spoil anything. I ju...

 
 
 
 

The Technology of MGS3 and their Real Life Counterparts

MGS3 is full of some really sweet technology. I instantly assumed most of the stuff in game was either made up or totally taken out of context. I decided I’d assess several pieces of in game weaponry to try and figure out where Kojima had...

 
 
 

Sorry Sir, You've got The Hype

I never thought I would be the one to fall prey to the insidious claws of The Hype. Well, I might have picked up a few games on launch day (or even before) but I'm not the kind of person who attends midnight launches. Even if they serve f...

 
 
 

A review of a review of a review: Reviews are flawed

I read Jim Sterling’s rebuttal concerning the anger about several of Destructoids reviews. I then perused the Condemned and the Patapon reviews and despite the fact that I may disagree with Mr. Sterlings handling of the issue, he is quite ...

 
 
 

Vista Giving You the Sh*ts?

I'm not sure if this is a joke or even a Microsoft product, seeing as I dont speak Japanese. Regardless, it still amuses me somewhat.

 
 
 

MGS4 SPOILURZ!!! Kind of...

Synopsis: • Snake has relinquished his role in Foxhound and returned home to America, where he idly wanders the nation in search of meaning. However, when he falls afoul of the local police and ends up beaten and imprisoned, post-traumati...

 
 
 

Of Porn and PlayStations: I shouldnt have doubted

Suddenly the PS3 seems so much more attractive. I admit for a time, its success and even very existence seemed threatened by the likes of other consoles. Incredibly, Sony for all the woes somehow managed to fuck up less than Microsoft...

 
 
 

Not my Turning Point gaming rig

Yes normally I wouldnt subscribe to this hoop-jumping exercise but being the money hungry technophile that I am I could hardly pass up the opportunity to step up and try my luck. But I also wanted the opportunity to share and compare my Al...

 
 
 

Zomg, Akira Live Action Movie in the Pipelines

I recieved a not so pleasant awakening this morning when my neighbours chihuahua licked my face. I subsquently threw it across the room and decided not to ask any further questions. I did however get a pleasant surprise upon turning on my...

 
 
 

The Half Life 2 Whine

Reverend Anthony’s post on the top ten most meaningful videogame quotes of all time (http://www.destructoid.com/the-ten-most-meaningful-videogame-quotes-of-all-time-64837.phtml) was a very interesting read and for the most part his decision...

 
 
 

I fucking love Team Fortress 2

I had a dream about Team Fortress 2. You know how it is. Your in bed and wake inexplicably. Suddenly the light zephyr that brushes agains the windows turns to a gust and flings them open. Amidst the dancing white curtains a figure emerg...

 
 
 

I don't want to see your Pokemans...

Jonathan Holmes post on Pokemon http://www.destructoid.com/darkrai-com-goes-live-pokemon-s-reputation-continues-to-plummet-68363.phtml reminded me of a conversation I had with several of my friends in moment of Caffiene-fueled zen within a ...

 
 
 

Fuel of War better not suck...

Its no secret that I am a massive Battlefield 1942 fan. But my love of the Desert Combat mod far ecclipses even that. The game ate the better part of my teenage years and really got me into this whole gaming thing. Made by a team of modd...

 
 
 

Consolences

It’s an undeniable fact that the PS2 is on the cusp of obsolescence. Soon mine will descend into the dusty underworld that is my cupboard to frolic with other consoles of yesteryear. Although admittedly I’m not as fond of the PS2 as th...

 
 
 

Blogging: Seven steps to glory

Seeing as several of my friends are starting to get involved in this whole blogging thing, I figured I’d try and write a short summary of what I think makes a successful post. Bear in mind that I myself often fail to use many of the strate...

 
 
 
 

Adventures in Azeroth

My relationship with WOW is a reasonably strange one. One minute I'm oh so hot for some delicious, creamy MMO action, but the next, I despise the entire concept. Right now, I'm quietly enjoying the game once again, or I would be if the q...

 
 
 
 

Why I love: C&C Generals

I love Command & Conquer: Generals. I love it to death. But so many years ago it dawned on me that a franchise, or even a sequel for that matter, may never come to being. My rationale in this statement? Simple. Generals probably pisse...

 
 
 

Art, Cake and an Orange Box: A Review

Recently, Mike Musgrove of the Washington Post conducted an experiment to uncover whether the new medium of videogames could be considered art. With an Xbox 360 snugly under his shoulder and a copy of the critically-acclaimed Bioshock in h...

 
 
 
 

People who write about the internet are stupid...

At the moment I'm studying the internet. My lecturers spit out the same altruistic nonsense again and again about how the Internet is the marvelous life changing miracle. About how digital rabbits shit sunshine out of their pixelated post...

 
 
 

Demonstration Demolition

I know that if your as bigger cheapskate as me then you will be savouring the past couple of weeks. The demos just keep coming. Today, being my day off, I thought I'd check out everything that was hurtling around the intertubes. My saga ...

 
 

About triGone of us since 6:31 PM on 05.08.2007

I am totally hardcore. I am more hardcore than you and your face. I am named Jordan. I am a guy. I am 21 years of age. I live in the place one might call Australia. I have a crappy journalism degree and I cant get a job!
When people see me on the street they all say “Wow, isn’t he hardcore!” How hardcore is that? Pretty hardcore, you might say. Well, that’s just the beginning of my corehardiness.
I once shat a Gameboy. I discovered penecillin. I once made a Link costume out of cardboard and then posted it on the internet (but that latter part wasn’t my idea)! I tell people stories about Shigeru Miyamoto. I play way too much Warcraft. I like shorts, they are comfy and easy to wear! I played MGS2 on European Extreme once. I have a Megaman 2 ringtone. I hate EA. I own a Nintendo Power T-Shirt. I once was talked like Strongbad for so long my larynx collapsed. I like complaining. I like writing. I like writing and complaining. I like writing and complaining on Destructoid. I have a dog with a fluffy tail. I think that it is politically correct and justified to call midgets "fun-size". I am addicted to cola. I am kept up at night by dreams of cats in top hats. I think that BF1942 is the best game ever. I can reticulate splines, whatever they are. I can jump; 1, 2, 3! I like movies but I hate TV. I think the internet is better than sliced bread. I have a friend whose girlfriend maxed the score on Lumines!
I am totally hardcore.

Be my friend
MSN/myspace: beswift@hotmail.com
Steam: triggerx0
Wii: Fuck that shit.
Playstation: triG_
 
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