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There's a party in my PAX and you're invited

The important stuff What it is A very special Destructoid dinner party and pre-funk in Seattle for people too retarded or foreign to show up a little later in the week like normal people. Supermodels are also welcome. When Wednesday, Sep...

 
 
 

About thepelkusone of us since 2:23 AM on 10.21.2008

See here one man, aged 28 years young. A face that holds the promises of brilliance, exuberance, and the American Dream. These promises were once the Boy Scout badges that made every girl want to be pinned by him, that made every suburbian mother say, "I can't wait until the fine young Pelkus boy grows up to be a lawyer, married to MY daughter." Just imagine good ol' mum laughing it up with suburban Dad and Mr. and Mrs. The Pelkus, Esq., as he rests his feet in front of the fire, smoke lazily curling from his pipe.

Alas, these promises appear as distorted memories through the tumescent sea of cynicism and bitterness in which they are awash, barely visible through the iridescent slick of sardonic self-deprecation which floats on top. But as The Pelkus re-establishes contact with his inner geek, tapping the latent power of his comic collection, his Atari, and his piss-poor history with women, he shall wave his hands and the plague which has settled over him shall be split asunder!