I have a lot to say and I need to get it out of my head.
I have a lot of plans for what I want to do with my account on this website. I want to post blogs and have awesome talks with the community and have this be where it was months ago. But then life happened. I got a job and that stole lots of my time. And I would come home and know I should write and work on my game, but I just was too exhasuted. But I figured it would get better, and played another hour of whatever game I was playing at the time. And then school came back. And I still told myself I'd write on the weekend or something, but I didn't. I'd sit down to write and nothing would come out, and I'd click onto Steam, swearing it'll only be five minutes, and then oh fuck there goes the night time for work. Try again next time. And then, it got to the point where I wasn't working on my game anymore. And I'm bummed that both that and writing here got away from me. They're my passions and I don't know why I can't just fucking write but I start and then hate what I'm writing and think maybe I need a break and then that break becomes not writing for a week and forgetting about it. It sucks. It makes me feel so shitty, because I end up only posting excuses on why I'm not posting, and it bums me the fuck out. So, I'm sorry. I am only writing this because I know I will actually be writing and posting and working on my game this week, because I have been. I have been working and I'm back in the good mindset I need to be in to create and write and be social and all that. But I just hope you guys can take me back in, because I know I've been gone for way too fucking long. I'm sorry my motivation is shit and that I need to figure out ways to stay like this.
Another thing I would like to ask for is advice, and I'm not expecting it or anything because I probably don't deserve it. But, where do I go from here? What path should I take? I don't know. I love this website, and being a part of it makes so insanely happy, and I hope that I will become super active so that I can be happy. Thanks for reading this, I know it's probably all over the place and poorly written, but I just really needed to get it out. I couldn't make any progress without getting all this crap out of my head. And I'll be here more, for real.