1. I nearly drowned when I was two
I jumped into the deep end of a pool when no one but my brother, who is only 15 months older than me, was around. Unable to swim I began to sink, but thankfully my brother held me afloat by my hair until my parents could come to my rescue.

2. I was expelled from high school as a sophomore
One of my classmates, an all-around consummate jackass, stabbed himself in the hand with a pencil. As the wound began to bleed profusely a toadie of his suggested that he wipe his hand on my brand new suede jacket. I warned him in no uncertain terms that if he did such a thing I would beat the shit out of him. Once we were outside he smeared his bloody hand down the sleeve of my jacket. Being a man of my word I landed a glancing blow on the side of his head. Not liking the odds, his friend joined in, punching me in the back of head. I don’t really remember a whole lot after that, but once the dust had settled they were both lying on the ground, one with a fractured cheekbone and the other a broken nose. Needless to say I was promptly dragged to the principal’s office.

Now, I wasn’t actually expelled, just suspended for two weeks. But considering those two weeks coincided with finals my grades were about to be seriously affected. So, I dropped out of school, took the SAT and went to college a year early.

3. At one point I was #17 on the Warcraft 2 ladder in Battle.net

4. Payne Stewart used to rent the house next to my childhood home in Augusta, Georgia during the Masters
He was a really nice guy. Every year he’d come over and give my brother and I a modest gift or two, usually simple magic tricks, things I keep and cherish to this day. I always rooted for him in every tournament, and when he died in that freak airplane accident I actually cried.

5. I beat Castlevania II every day after school
I guess I never realized how awful that game truly was because the only other game I owned was Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and I could never get past the third level in that.

6. I had an irrational fear of jellyfish
I was stung by a jellyfish while on vacation at Kiawah Island when I was six. It was extraordinarily painful. A few years later we permanently relocated to Wrightsville Beach, North Carolina. I loved the beach and the ocean, but whenever I saw a jellyfish in the water I would flip out and make my way to shore as quickly as I could, never reentering the water again that day.

This pattern continued until about two years ago when I was stung on the upper thigh by a jellyfish. I was instantly cured of my fear because it barely hurt at all. Since then I hardly try to avoid jellyfish at all while swimming in the ocean.

7. I batted .864 with a 9-0 record as a pitcher in my last year of high school baseball

8. I was a vegetarian for five months last year
I quit because a) I gained about twelve pounds (carbs are the easiest thing to eat as a vegetarian; everything else takes too much work) and b) I missed chicken too much.

9. I had a 4.0 GPA in college

10. World of Warcraft is the most fun I’ve ever had playing a videogame
Yeah. I know. It’s not cool to like WOW or any MMO for that matter. But from November 2004 to February 2005 my brother and a good friend of mine leveled from 1-60. We never progressed without the other two present. We never grouped with anyone else. We three-manned every single zone and instance. And the stories we relate whenever we get together (which isn’t nearly as often as it used to be) are priceless. I wouldn’t trade those times for anything in the world.

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LOOK WHO CAME:

the Golden Avatar