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How to never get laid by your girlfriend

From direct observation, cliched as it is:

1. Have pretty girlfriend who wants to feel loved

2. Be gaming addict

3. Be unwilling to acknowledge problem

4. Play WoW or other PC games secretly in your room until 2 a.m., get up at 6 a.m. to work shitty job for 10 hours

5. Come home, log on, receive call from girlfriend, fake yawning to get her off the phone, tell her how hard your job is and how it tires you out, tell her you're heading straight to bed, resume gaming until 2 a.m.

6. Occasionally bring girlfriend home, lay around exhausted, blame it on the job, fall asleep on her, snore, be awakened by angry girlfriend, take her home, return, resume gaming until 2 a.m.

7. Occasionally bring girlfriend home, sit and watch roommate play video games instead of taking her out on the town or playing a game or talking

8. Actively hide addiction from roommate, collapsing the screen when playing WoW, not communicating when playing Age of Empires, putting pillow/blanket at foot of door to conceal monitor light

9. Only perk up from gaming when offered different medium of gaming

10. Leave all housework to roommate, eat frozen pizzas and drink pop all day

11. Become the embodiment of one of life's grand mysteries that you used to muse: why girls stick around for guys like you
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About socialnormsone of us since 10:07 AM on 07.14.2009

Final Fantasy VI, VII, IX and X
Myth: The Fallen Lords & Soulblighter
Halo Series
Resident Evil series (minus six...)
Donkey Kong Country
Chrono Trigger/Cross
The Warriors
River City Ransom
Midnight Club series
Metal Gear 1 and 3 (the others can die a postmodern, narcissistic death)
Marathon series

Mixed Martial Arts
Playing online with friends
Xbox LIVE:Angry Liberals


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