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Siddartha's E3 Wish List: 2017


I tried to steer clear of just listing hoped-for games.  I'm more interested in events.  What kinds of things get announced more generally.

Nintendo is Already Doing Great

Not much to say here. I could say something about a new hardcore Metroid, I guess, but you've heard that rant before. Probably coming out of your own mind. But Nintendo has a competitive shooter and a competitive fighting game this summer. They both look better and more original than what's coming from EA, Activision or Ubisoft this year. I'm not even dumping on them, they're doing okay. Nintendo is just going that much harder. What choice do they have?

"I don't always do what I should, but I do what I gotta do. When you been on the bottom you see the hunger inside of you. Don't say what you can't do, cause that can all change. When the going gets tough, it'll drive you insane." - August Alsina

You know what?  Let's get another cute yarn game.  But something cool, like Yarn Metroid on the Patchwork Planet.

Microsoft Might as Well Pivot to PC

Once upon a time, MS developed some pretty good PC games. They still have those IPs. They've got Freelancer and Mech Warrior. And yet they think Halo Wars 2 is their big PC game? Shows what they know. They've got an opportunity to bring back a real Age of Empires or a Mech Warrior. The next Crackdown or Halo is nice, I guess. But those won't sell a system to anyone still waiting at this point. We all know what their last-gen console franchises were.

Sony Returns to Their Fantastic Mascots

I saw this on dephoenix's list, and it's just what I would suggest as well. Once again, we've got a company with a raft of IPs that do something nobody else is quite doing right now. And no, I don't count Yooka Laylee and neither should you. I would play the crap out of a Jack 4 or another major Ratchet and Clank.

People know I used to work at GameStop. You know what I get asked? What to do I get for my kids? It's what people want to know about any system their kids make them buy. The kids want Call of Duty, but they don't have the fucking job, do they? They never seem to have the Nintendo system, either.

The PC Variety Show Gets Good and Has New Game Reveals

I didn't tune in last year, but the first one had me nodding off a few times. That's a problem. I think it was arranged and hosted by a chip maker. And what a stunning showcase of graphics options it was! But, we need to see experiences. And things we didn't already know about. Games we didn't know about. Not games from a year ago with new options. How hard can it be to find PC devs that want a spot on an E3 stage to announce a game?  Do that.

Kojima Saves Scalebound, Just Like Kamiya did for Metal Gear Rising

Imagine that announcement! Now it's Tactical Dragon Action. Think you know dragons? Imagine realistic dragon damage on watermelons and glass bottles. Okay, maybe not. But whatever lame-ass story it had before, you can expect a lot more nanomachines and body horror when Kojima takes over.

A Rep From Konami Starts Playing a Trailer for Silent Hills. It Turns into E3's First-Ever Pachinko Trailer Reveal

I keep hoping for an E3 presser to troll us all hard, and this just seems perfect. Bad news unironically presented as good news. I can imagine Jim Sterling's reaction on his livestream, as the trailer goes on. Promising beginnings, suspicious lack of gameplay. Before you know it, score numbers start popping-up on the screen. Uh oh. Oh no. They wouldn't! The fucks! The cheeky fucks did it on an E3 stage! "Sexual Body Horror!"

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About siddartha85one of us since 1:07 PM on 07.18.2011