Ugh, is it Wednesday already? Man, I got to tell you, lifeís been crazy ever since I was featured on the Front page and achieved Internet fame. Itís been a nonstop party, all week Iíve been getting tore up with other internet celebrities. Last night I was introduced to a little drink called the Liza Minnelli Martini, itís really just gin and Vicodin, but it gets the job done. Iím going to level with you; Iím really
hung over, and not really feeling up to up to this whole writing thing. However, Iíll press onward for the sake of my loyal readers. Today, for the benefit of my poor throbbing brain Iím going to write about something easy, like 1994ís Doom.
In Doom you play as some sort of space soldier. You sent to the moon or something like that, to fight monsters that are coming out of a portal to hell that has opened for some reason. The monsterís are all like ďGrrr, weíre going eat you.Ē And the space soldierís like ďNot if I shoot you first.Ē *Pew Pew Pew* *Boom* You know what, if you never played Doom before than get the fuck out. I donít have time to deal with your ignorant ass, especially with the room spinning the way it is. Wow, look at those demons, Holy crap! Fuck, my head.
What?!? Oh right, Doom. Yeah, I used to play this game all the time. My friends and I would gather around the Packard Bell and spend hours blowing up pixilated demons while other kids were out playing sports and kissing girls. Those bastards, they thought they were better than me, with their pump up sneakers and their fade haircuts, but I digress. This game was pretty fun, just the type of thing a bitter, young, sociopath like me needed to blow off steam. I had ďanger issuesĒ.
Eh, whateverÖ close enough.
If you havenít had the opportunity to experience Doom before, then why are you still here? I thought I told you to leave, but if you really need to play it that badly then I guess you could look here
. As always I suggest that you use DOSBox
, or donít. I really couldnít care less what you do.
Hereís a video, you bastards:
Goddamn, Richard Marx is awesome. Next week Iíll be back with another detailed, front page worthy, look into DOS era gaming. Of course youíll be back too, where else are you going to go for information like this? Mobygames? Wikipedia? I think not.
Please donít go to Mobygames or Wikipedia, I desperately need the attention. I... I'm going to go lie down now.
Directory of C:\DOS\RUN\
RiseoftheTriad.exe WaynesWorld.exe BlakeStone.exe HalloweenPP2007.exe MonsterBash.exe BattleChess.exe Boppin.exe MegaRace.exe