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Random Select:God Hand


]I like beat em ups. I especially like one's that are based on their own new universe. Liscesed ones are great, but when you're making your own new mythology, I like that. Captain Commando did that with all his Mech Riding and Mummy friends. Final Fight has the mayor, a former pro wrestler whom you can play as in Saturday Night Slam Masters, go after his daughters kidnappers himself with two other dudes. Not only did they figure out how to make a hilarious story, they made beat em ups into what one of my favorite genres. A genre that despite still existing, feels dead. Like everyone hates a beat em up. Just a few years ago, God Hand was released.

God hand stars you as the wielder of the mystical power that makes your arm glow. Everyone wants it, but luckily it lets you kick everyone's face in. What's the best is that you don't have a set string of combos like most games in the genre. You actually can get moves and put in your own combo, as well as a few other moves to acess at any time. Pimp slaps, drop kicks, roundhouses, uppercuts, and this one spinning drop kick that I love. It has a slow start, but it seems to always wollop anyone.

It's this mythology and a fun premise that sets you up for whats going on, then you have to proceed beating people up. This game has you as a guy who receives the god hand, the ultimate weapon that allows you to become a god. And it's the evolution of the beat em up that changes things completely. Letting you set your own moves. That changes it. When you can pick which kick specifically, which what to use where, and then having the synchronization so you do them, it just makes sense. Other than that, you also have an excellent dodge system by pressing the right stick. Pressing R2 when your meter is filled lets you turn the godhand on, dealing extra damage and running around faster. Another option is the roulette wheel. It gives you a special ability that uses one of the orbs above your health. Some moves use two or more of them for more damage. These moves generally devastate enemies. You should get this and try it out.

Storyline wise, I can't figure out anything that's going on. But I can't bring myself to skip cutscenes. It's too entertaining. Everything that's said is funny. Either cheesily so or just because its funny. Poisonous chihauhas are running around, for example. A few extra things besides the storyline include chihuaha races. The chihauhas have names like fission mailed (metal gear solid 2) and massive damage (sony press conference about Genji 2). It's as if whoever made this game, liked video games. Giant Enemy Crane is one of the boss characters in a second reference to the infamous speech. Special moves in the game include pimp slaps and spin kicks. I don't know what more to say, this game was made for a guy who likes games.

The one thing people point to as a problem is difficulty. Once I learned the mechanics of dodging, that ANY attack from an enemy could be deadly, I use it often. Doesn't matter who hits you, they all take off health and it's all precious. The game isn't so much difficult as it is taxing to play. Pressing so many buttons and flipping around the controller takes concentration. I need quiet and the right mood to play it. I'm about six levels into it and really enjoy it. Unfortunately, it seems a sequel won't be coming out anytime soon, but maybe if the internet yells hard enough and wishes, we might get some sequels.

Ever play God Hand?

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About randombullseyeone of us since 5:44 PM on 07.05.2008

"I am hoping that I can be known as a great writer and actor some day, rather than a sex symbol." - Words of wisdom from the deity Steven Seagal

"Existence is random. Has no pattern save what we imagine after staring at it too long. No meaning save what we choose to impose." - Alan Moore from Watchmen

My own writing reflects the opinion of every corporation, company, individual, monsters, and gods. Also, cocks!

Coming soon as an actual book you can buy The Bonerquest. Hopefully you'll buy a copy when I'm done with it.

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Zombies Ate My Neighbors is the best game ever.

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Old School Games articles are pretty much worth reading. They say write what you know.

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