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Old School Games: Splatterhouse 3

Splatterhouse 3 is one of my favorite games ever. Where else can you play as a steroid muscled guy wearing a hockey mask? This one is the third of a fun series of games.

Sega Genesis 1993. Doesn't get any better than Splatterhouse 3.

Survival horror comes to mind when I go to write about what genre this thing is, but really its a beat em up. An awesome beat em up at that. You have access to weapons and moves that just feel as though you're just as evil or maybe more so than the monsters you fight. The way that you beat the snot (literally) out of enemies is unprecedented in a 16-bit game. Nearly every enemy has a piece of their body that fly off after a few jabs to the face. You can also utilize a variety of weapons.

Your guy has a basic beat em up combo set with one really cool addition: a power move. You collect blue orbs to fill the white bar and when you press the A button your guy bonds with his mask and gains additional muscle mass. You can also shoot penises out of his body to attack people while powered up.

Splatterhouse 2 was too uneven in its difficulty, and while its true this one has some challenge, it is a lot more forgiving and is actually beatable. This time around its not your standard left to right beat em up. You've got a map and have to get from point A to point b on a floor of this mansion. Lots of rooms and doorways to go through. If you don't do it quick enough, something bad will happen to your family members. The sense of desperation this game creates is amazing. Here is the map to give you an idea of whats going on.

The storyline has your character, Rick, team up with his evil mask again to save his family from a haunted mansion filled with demonic nasties. One in particular always creeped me out. I won't dare mention it, but level three is where it happens. If you've never played the game please play that level or go watch it on you tube. I really would love for you to play that level, as its definitely memory card worthy.

One thing I laughed about when I was playing it to refresh my memory of it: If you linger on a horizontal screen too long a monster hand reaches down and points to the right. Sort of humorous, I suppose.

Take a look at the box art on this sucker. It gives Mega Man a run for best cover ever.

Here is one of the story scenes that play every few rooms to give you that "hurry up, your wife and son are in trouble" stuff.

A new game in the series was announced earlier this year and as a follower of this series, I await news on it anxiously.

Just play the game a bit and you'll see what I'm talking about. Its a great game. Don't worry about not knowing what happens in the first two games, doesn't matter. This is the one to play. If you feel like you need more information on the series, I found a wonderful fan site with tons of information on the whole series.
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About randombullseyeone of us since 5:44 PM on 07.05.2008

"I am hoping that I can be known as a great writer and actor some day, rather than a sex symbol." - Words of wisdom from the deity Steven Seagal

"Existence is random. Has no pattern save what we imagine after staring at it too long. No meaning save what we choose to impose." - Alan Moore from Watchmen

My own writing reflects the opinion of every corporation, company, individual, monsters, and gods. Also, cocks!

Coming soon as an actual book you can buy The Bonerquest. Hopefully you'll buy a copy when I'm done with it.

Will you accept The Bonerquest?

Zombies Ate My Neighbors is the best game ever.

Read fun articles Josh (Charlie) wrote for Tomopop or Nukezilla! Professionalism! Also I did some news for Destructoid. Sort of a real writer!

Check out Josh Hayes, a name Charlie uses for journalism on the internet so that he can say silly personal things without the fear of them being exposed openly. That and to hide from people he knew who he don't want to find him, not no way, not no how.

Twitter, or Tumblr!

Old School Games articles are pretty much worth reading. They say write what you know.

X-Com UFO Defense

Zelda 2

X-Men Mutant Apocalypse

Dragon Warrior III

Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse

Final Fantasy 3 (Final Fantasy VI)

Way of the Samurai

Nick Arcade

We Love Katamari

Ninja Gaiden

Toejam & Earl

River City Ransom

Mega Man X

Pokemon Red/Blue

Yakuza series

Operation Darkness


X-Men 2: Clone Wars

Sweet Home

Legend of Dragoon

Clock Tower

Mystal Ninja/Ganabre Goemon series

Onimusha Warlords

Rockin' Kats


Spawn games

God Hand

Blood Will Tell

Super Godzilla


Animal Platformers

Robot Alchemic Drive (R.A.D.)

Buck Rodgers Countdown to Doomsday

Darkwing Duck

Shin Megami Tensei games (Persona, Devil Summoner, Devil Survivor)

Jurassic Park 2

Disgaea & other Nippon Ichi Games (Phantom Brave, Makai Kingdom, La Pucelle Tactics, Soul Nomad)

Twisted Tales of Spike Mcfang

Resident Evil

Legend of Kage

Lost Vikings

Devil May Cry

Comix Zone

X- Men

Threads of Fate

Mutant League Football

Mega Man 7

Castlevania 2

Sonic 2

Dragon Warrior 2

Donkey Kong Country

Spider-man & X-Men Arcades revenge




Splatterhouse 2

Elevator Action

Mega Man 6

Mega Man 5

Dig Dug

Mega Man 4

Mega Man 3

Mega Man 2

Rock Roll Racing


Mega Man

Beat Em Ups PART 6: Future

Beat Em Ups PART 5: Playstation 2/Xbox/Gamecube

Beat Em Ups PART 4: Playstation/Saturn

Beat Em Ups PART 3: Sega Genesis Super Nintendo

Beat Em Ups PART 2: Nintendo

Beat Em Ups PART 1: Arcade

Smash TV

Ghosts & Goblins


Werewolf Last Warrior


Dragon Warrior


Rolling Thunder

Splatterhouse 3

Doom Troopers

Demons Crest

Primal Rage

Zero Wing


G. I. Joe


Listen to Josh "randombullseye" Hayes on Destructoid's #1 bullshit podcast, Bulltoid! There were nearly fifty episodes in total, good luck.
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