Problem is, I forgot two of them. So you get six and four.
F) "Game show host" was probably the longest career goal I had as a young child
My heroes growing up were Alex Trebek and J.D. Roth, and as much as I wanted to be on Video Power, I was even more intent on taking over or hosting my own show one day. I used to narrate things and talk to invisible audiences when I had time on my own when I was still in the single digits, age-wise, and entered a lot of plays in elementary school just to get stage experience. A handful of mildly traumatic experiences and being too afraid to join drama club along with my crush when I got to middle school quashed that dream for a long time, but its resurgence is why I do my own streaming on twitch.tv now, as well as take every opportunity I can to hop in on multiplayer sessions on Mash Tactics and Chill With Phil, and am not afraid to post all sorts of garbage here and on YouTube.
It's also probably why a fair amount of my life is an elaborate fiction, tailored to specific familial and friend-group audiences, but eh.
7) I used to write self-insert Sailor Moon fanfiction
For a longer time than I'd like to admit. It started in crappy script/screenplay format, after seeing some on Compuserve and spending too much time in anime-themed MUSHes, and eventually bloated into a syndicate of writers, with all sorts of drama, weirdness, and relationship disasters going on between us all. By the time we were up to nearly a dozen members, not including the guy we'd kicked out for lifting his story almost entirely from the Sega CD game Vay
, I'd at least stepped back to a more editorial position, proofreading and occasionally kicking out plot ideas for the most part.
It all fell apart after one of the regular furry interlopers we'd get on the IRC channel where we'd meet weekly turned out to be that one exile, keeping tabs on things and generally harassing the girl in Florida with whom he'd bombed a creepy, long-distance relationship. Thanks to the demise of Geocities, no archives are floating around online, either. Not that it was particularly noteworthy in goodness or badness; I think by the end of it, everyone had too many powers, my character and one other housed demigods and would turn into cats after unleashing their full potential, and we had a Sliders/Quantum Leap thing going on where we jumped to different anime and game universes.
We all make mistakes.
%) Yes, I'm still a vegan
Sorry, I get this question once a week, and it's driving me nuts. I segued down to a more plant-based diet at the end of last year, for health and monetary reasons and because my body is more an alchemical lab to me than a temple, where I like to play around with dietary restrictions to see what happened. Because of reasons, and several friends going full-on vegan, I decided to go whole-hog myself, and it stuck.
Granted, I did so more out of a sense of challenge than out of any moral obligation, but it's still annoying to be asked every week if I've caved. To be honest, I'm at the point where seeing raw meat is a little disgusting, like when a quitting smoker starts getting downright nauseous around cigarette smoke. So yeah. I think this is going to be a thing for a while. I had my share of meaty treats, and I'm ready to move on.
The internet at large going apeshit for bacon kind of helped push me over the edge, too, to be honest. If internet people are doing it, I kinda don't want to.
Y) I'm a cat guy
In case the username and your weeabooesque, passing knowledge of a few Japanese words didn't clue you in, I like kitty cats. Dogs are okay, but I'm leery of unconditional love, as well as having to go outside with something so it can poop. And whereas you can always count on a dog to come cheer you up or hang out, cats are masters of timing it for maximum impact.
1) I spent a month in Japan on an exchange program
In Nagoya and environs (Gifu, technically, at least with my host family), for those of you wondering the specific location. And I spent most of it tracking down a complete set of Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon and Codename Wa Sailor V manga, as many TWO-MIX albums as I could find, and buying pornography for the other three guys in the American group because I was 16 and the time, which looked 18 enough over there.
This was also my first exposure to Pokemon, which was a phenomenon there already and barely even announced in the United States. I guess that's when I caught the disease.
() I think I can marry people
Some of you may remember back when the Universal Life Church was ordaining people online for free, or at least really cheap. I got in on that, even though I'm pretty sure nowhere actually recognizes that as valid. If they do, let me know, so I can set up a lucrative side business watching people kiss one another.
I was also a registered SubGenius for a while, which is just as valid when it comes to consecrating the union of two lovers, but neglected to re-up my dues after the first year. May Bob not forsake me.
B) I dressed as Strong Bad for Halloween once, back when I was in better shape and dumb
Made the mask myself out of some foamies and a red cloth bondage play mask I ordered online, then picked up some cheap youth-size boxing gloves that barely fit over my fingers (never mind the rest of my hands), and went so far as to get a plush The Cheat commissioned by then-famous cosplayer Elfeater (who, oddly enough, was kind of being stalked by one of my writing fellows in the fanfiction days).
It did not impress the girl I was trying to impress. I did a lot of things that did not impress her. Mostly in our shared Animal Crossing village I dubbed "Fhqwgads" (the second h wouldn't fit), which had the Strongbadian flag flying over its island.
^) I know both parts of Human League's "Don't You Want Me" by heart
I can be the lady or the dude at karaoke. Versatility, baby.
0) Jon Carnage, former host of Mash Tactics, thought I was a lady for a month and a half
Not long after I first started watching the show last year, I changed my username to my favorite color, purple, and for whatever reason, got my comments read aloud and responded to on a fairly regular basis. That is, except for every time I corrected Carnage and Pico regarding my gender. Thanks in part to Jon's inability to connect real names to chat names (which I can understand; I have that problem even after meeting people in real life), it wasn't until I'd friended Pico on facebook in the hopes of wrecking her Monstermind
empire (which happened all of twice) that I was confirmed to be male.
The best part? During last year's Dtoid charity stream (the one where Max got punched in the balls), I got home between jobs long enough to hop in for a bit, right when Jon was taking a break from being the tech side of things to get on cam, and he saw me in chat and decided to share this tale with everyone.
And then he did it again for one of the Mash Tactics shows segueing between him and King Foom as hosts.
And it will probably keep happening forever.
Legacies are legacies, I guess.
ELEVENTY) I've never beaten Super Mario Bros
In any form, ever. Despite having access to the game for 25 years, through various phases of reaction times and twitch musculature, I just can't do it. Not in the original form, or the version on Super Mario All-Stars
for the SNES, or even Super Mario Crossover
. I have yet to give Mari0 a crack, but I have my doubts.
I've beaten 2, 3, World,
with little or no problems. Hell, I even know all the warp zones, and little tricks like the infinite 1-up troopa and whatnot. Hell, I've gotten into Minus World twice
. But, like some strange parallel to my real-world love life, I often wonder if my princess will forever be in another castle.
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