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Randomtoid: Kittens - Inspired by Kittens [NVGR]

A friend of mine showed me this random clip today, and it made me realize that when I was a kid, I probably would have done the same thing. At the very least, the video should provide some "aww"s for the cuteness-loving crowd She is so ho...


AIM FUN: a brand new text adventure!

I was talking online with a friend of mine, when he decided to try and fuck with me. However, since he is a friend, and not some random person who finds out about my AIM fun and then tries to IM me so they can have fun with me (it has happe...


Late Night Lulz: Old lady shoots em up

This video is easily the funniest thing I have seen all week. What started out as an audition shoot for an early Xbox 360 add turns into pure greatness when you take an old lady, and tell her to make pretend that she's shooting a gun. Enj...


My biggest regret from high school (NVGR)

Now that I'm almost done with my first semester of college, I find myself looking back on high school. I find myself thinking about all the things I did, all the things I didn't do, and all the times I showcased my horrible Goofy impressio...


Free Dr. Pepper is free

Today is the day that Dr. Pepper lost a bet with himself. That bet was that Guns n' Roses wouldn't release Chinese Democracy in 2008. Well, it's still 2008, and Chinese Democracy is currently in music stores (and all over Rapidshare). And s...


Palin Porn: Confirmed! NVGR. NSFW text

This just in: Larry Flynt recently put an add out on Craig's List looking for an adult film actress who could also act as a decent look-alike to Wasilla's "finest": Sarah Palin. It looks like Larry found his girl, and there will be at least...


The real way to stop piracy.

Last night, I made a post about Sony putting out fake downloads of Black Ice in an attempt to prevent piracy. It was only today that I realized the best way any company could prevent piracy of games, CDs or even movies. It won't be 100% eff...


The best way to stop piracy I've ever heard

I'm sure many of you have already heard that AC/DC's new album, [u]Black Ice[/u], has been leaked. I'm also sure that many of you guys have already downloaded the album. But how many of you got a real download? Apparently, Sony has come up ...


Feel the Hatred: Water Levels

It’s a well known fact that video games are filled with cliches. Collect-a-thonning, hitting weak points for massive damage, and element-based levels. Play just about any platformer, and chances are you’ll run into a fire (or lava) leve...


R.I.P. Legal cockfighting in America. Also, satire?

Yesterday, Louisiana became the last of the 50 states to ban cockfighting. This is truly a sad event in American history as it serves as a lethal blow to America's favorite past time: violence. Without cockfighting, where will the youth of ...


Jew Sleuth: 5 more Rock Band 2 songs

As we all know, yesterday was free slurpee day at 7-11. I went to a few 7-11 locations with my friend Zach, then went back to his house for a nice little Rock Band session (our band, which usually has 2 other people, is the Rick Rock 'n Rol...


Jew Sleuth: Another band in Rock Band 2

Hey everybody. The Jew Sleuth is currently vacationing in Seattle (will return tomorrow and get home past 1 AM Eastern time), but that hasn't kept me from my Jew sleuthing activities. It seems that the band Testament will be featured in the...


Jew Sleuth: Rock Band 2's music

Hello, everybody. I know the Jew Sleuth usually sticks to Virtual Console releases (this week, expect Fatal Fury 2), but since the front page decided to give a little information about Rock Band 2, I think it's time for me to spill what I'v...


The Start of the Affair: Mario Party

The year was 1999. We were all partying as Prince had suggested back in 1982, and Nintendo was about to show us a different kind of party - a Mario kind of party - aptly named Mario Party. The game was revolutionary not only for it's perf...


Breaking news: Rickley Tisroll?

It has recently been brought to my attention that Ashley Tisdale, who you may recognize from such Disney bitch work as High School Musical and The Suite Life, has recorded a cover of St. Rick's 1987 classic "Never Gonna Give You Up" for an ...


Face + Palm = Facepalm. Issue 1

Hey everybody. I know I've been gone for a while, and I randomly pop up saying I'm back but never get back to regular posting, but... the same thing is probably going to happen again. Perhaps starting a new series will help me get back to m...


Jew Sleuth: Monday's VC releases

I'd like to start out by saying that one of the releases for this week is already known, but in case you didn't hear about it, it will be the first game I mention. The weekly Virtual Console releases always have some effect on my penis. So...


Destroy All Humans... you are so SUED

I just got a phone call from my friend Jim asking where the nearest Gamestop is. His mom works as a lawyer, and needed a game in order to do legal research. I was immediately worried that the mother of one of my closest friends may be one o...


About kwaselowone of us since 11:28 AM on 08.03.2007

Name: Adam Eliot Kwaselow
Date of Birth: October 2, 1990
Race: Kwyjibo
Favorite Game: Chrono Trigger
First game played: Super Mario World
First game played through: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time
Game played when bored in programming class with no new assignments: Marvel Vs. Capcom
Favorite breakfast cereal: Count Chocula
Fears: Bees, dolls, Samuel L. Jackson
Weaknesses: Knees, cardiovascular system, beautiful women
Pronounced: Kwazlo

Destructoid easily has the most British users out of any site I go to, and technically, I'm 1/4 British. I say technically because, although my grandfather was from Montreal, he became a citizen in 1932, 50 years before Canadian independence.

I'm a proud Michigander, and I appreciate some motherfucking jazz.

Up to now, I have earned
2 Dolphin King Badges
2 Gold Retroid Badges
1 Silver Retroid Badge

I have been on the front page 1 time

Fuck yeah!