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LONG BLOG

Alternate Reality: If Cars Couldn't Kill

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I pulled up to the traffic light and braked slowly. The light was red. I pulled the grocery list out of my sweatshirt pocket and skimmed over it again: grated cheese (sharp cheddar), red bell pepper, ground beef (1.5 lb)... Shouldn't take me but a few minutes.

The light changed to green, and cars started inching forward. Out of the corner of my ear, I heard the whine of a something like a jet engine screaming with giddy glee, growing steadily louder. Actually, my mind barely had time to register that, since but a second later, I was jerked sideways forcibly as my sedan went flipping through the air across the street, straight into a building.


You only wish you could afford this thing.

It's entirely commonplace to see these cars blasting through the crowded downtown at hundreds of miles an hour, weaving between traffic, skidding crazily around corners with seemingly no traction to speak of, and executing all manner of daredevil feats using whatever naturally occurring ramps they can find.

Of course, these people have all the other hapless citizens who drive regular four door sedans or pickup trucks or underpowered hybrids at a disadvantage. Every day, hundreds of people are casualties of their whimsical sport. Well, not casualties, exactly, but you know what I mean. But what do they care? The law suffers their recklessness. Nobody's getting hurt. Everything here is made with Impact, so it all heals automatically.

I want to say that I'm angry at their lack of consideration, but really, in the end, when you boil it all down and remove the fancy words and righteous indignation, it's probably just that I'm jealous.
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About knutafone of us since 6:45 PM on 03.01.2010

Facts:
I'm a dad in my thirties.
I work for MS on the Xbox, making features and fixing bugs.
I have a cat and two dogs.
I sometimes make Twitter bots: 1, 2, 3

Frontpaged
Groundhog Day: Wave After Wave, This Is My Ocean
Obscurity: Nobody has ever heard of Lemmings

Currently playing
Stephen's Sausage Roll
Obduction


Favorites:
Dark Souls
La-Mulana
Geometry Wars 2
Burnout Paradise
Rayman (original, Origins, Legends)
Tetris Attack
Windwaker
Metroid Prime series
Secret of Mana, Seiken Densetsu 3
Descent 1-3
Bayonetta
English Country Tune
The Witness


Other places you might find me:
Twitch.tv livestream (PC indie games and Dark Souls)
knutaf on YouTube
@_knutaf on Twitter
Occasionally, I am part of a podcast
I watch a fair bit of anime.
I sometimes listen to music.
Xbox LIVE:knutaf
PSN ID:knutaf
Steam ID:knutaf


 

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