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I, the Author: Ratchet and Clank - All or Nothing [part 1 of ???]

Holy moly.

So, last week, after a quick survey, it seems that alot of people liked me to attempt a Ratchet and Clank screenplay. Fine, I said. I spent my 1.5 hour commutes home every day and my gym time thinking about a decent plot to work with. Which was hard considering I only played up to 3. Still, the funness of the games really struck a cord with me, and suddenly, a potentially fun idea hit me.

So I began writing on Friday, and what was meant to be 5 pages turned into 16 through the weekend. Now, since I wrote this in MS Word, the proper screenplay format is way off, so it's more akin to 20-25 pages. In a weekend. I have to admit that I'm impressed.

So, here is the first 5 pages of what I got so far. Since the theme is I, the Author, I decided to make this thematic, and even though the rest of the screenplay will be posted way after the month's over, I thought this may be interesting that this idea and the month's theme corresponded.

First, some screenplay info for you:

INT. = interior. Means an indoor scene. EXT. = Exterior. Outdoor scene. I/E = Interior and Exterior. Kinda like if someone in their kitchen is talking out their window to someone in the garden. A little of both.

DAY/NIGHT = Time of day. Mainly for lighting purposes. LATER = same location, just some time has passed.

The screenwriter usually has to balance a decent story without controlling every element or going to strong with the details (which is usually up to the director). Which is why I never really go to heavy in detailing the locations, mainly because the director is responsible for the "look" of the scenes.

The beginning runs a bit long because 1) it supposed to reflect the low-key opening sequences of the game, and 2) that's where the credits are supposed to occur. (Although, in the end, the screenwriter has no say in that; he can only 'hint' at said suggestions).

Final note: the events take place between Deadlocked (R&C4) and Tools of Destruction(The first R&C game for the PS3).

That's if for now-- if something comes up, I'll definitely note it. Any questions, comments, or critiques, just leave 'em down below (although, I would ask to hold off on specific plot issues until we get to the meat of the story). So: here we go!





RATCHET, a furry cat-like creature known as a Lombax, stands proudly on top of his metal garage, gazing out along the sun-drenched landscape of his desert home world of Veldin. Hand on his Omniwrench 3000, an oversized, ornate wrench-like tool, he seems to bask in the moment, like a superhero protecting his world.

CLANK, a small, green-eyed robot, peeks his head out a skylight. He rumbles over like a penguin, his feet clanging against the metal surface.

Ratchet, what are you doing?

...The, uh, um, Gravity Boots are malfunctioning.

Oh, geez.

Clank reaches down and starts to pull at Ratchet ankles. They pull against the metal but refuse to let go for any length of time.

OW! Hey, watch it!

Hold still! How’d you break them this time?

I didn’t break them! They broke on their own!

Like that time you used the Crotchetizer?

That was broken right out the box!

The two struggle against each other some more.

Suuuuure… will you hold still?

Gah, I can’t—hey! Watch where you put that finger, pal!

I swear you organic lifeforms are so insecure.

We have spots that you just don’t touch, okay?

How long have you been out here?

Three hours.

Why don’t you just slip your feet out of them?

RATCHET (sarcastically)
Oh, yeah, duh, why didn’t I think of that one. Man, Clank, you have all the ideas.

Well, thank you, I—hey, wait a minute… was that sarcasm?

Yes, Clank, yes it was. (struggling now) If I could, erf, slide out of them, mmf, I would. Gravity boots, urf, are really broken.

Like your sentence structure.


Clank laughs his signature laugh as he and Ratchet continue to struggle against each other.


The Gravity Boots sit on a table. A note on them reads “To Be Repaired.” It sits among a number of lavish, mechanical devices, all spread across the table in a cluttered mess. Notes like “To Be Fixed,” “Getting To This,” “Broken,” and so on, are plastered on each one.

The house, overall, is trashed, with metal parts and mechanical pieces strewn about, mixed with generic trash like papers, clothing, empty cups, and food crumbs.

The sound of clunking metal is audible. THE PLUMBER is revealed to be in the kitchen, on his knees, repairing the sink. Clank watches the repairs, although he seems rather annoyed.

… too many bolts in here. Always gotta watch out when you dumping out the useless bolts.


Better to recycle ‘em. You can melt them down, ya know. Just scrap metal. Er, no offense.


I mean, if I had a bolt for every bolt I found in these things, I’d have… uh… twice as many bolts! Ha-ha! Get it? That’s a plumber’s crack!

Clank cringes as he accidentally glances at the Plumber’s buttcrack.

Certainly can’t miss it.

Meanwhile, in his room, Ratchet snoozes away sloppily in his bed. His bedroom is as messy as the rest of the house, even messier in spots. He slowly turns, yawning, his eyes falling the nearby alarm clock.

Good Veldian Ghost! I’m late!

Panicked, Ratchet jumps out of bed and tosses trash and metal aside.

Oh man, oh man, oh man, I can’t believe I overslept. Clank! Clank? Clank!

Clank overhears this and the chaos Ratchet is causing, and sighs.

Clank? Are you in here?

The kitchen, Ratchet.

Ratchet bounces across the kitchen doorway in his underwear, trying to put on a pair of dress shoes.

Geez! Dude! Why didn’t you wake me?

I tried to.

What? How many times?

Up until you fired the Annihilator at me.

Clank points to a massive hole in the wall, which is right across from Ratchet’s room. The Lombax stares at it as for the first time. His ears droop.

A robot mother and child wander by. The child stars at the half-naked Ratchet. The mother gasps robotically, covers the child’s eyes, and scoot off hastily.

Huh. That gun still works.

I can fix that.

Ratchet resumes hastily throwing on clothing, including a set of wrinkled dress pants and slightly oversized sports jacket.

Well, I’ll worry about that later. I gotta jet. Where’s my pants?

Clank’s face softens a bit.


No time, Clank.

He grabs a briefcase from his room closet, which has papers sticking from the sides. He hustles out the front door.


The Lombax hustles across the sandy surface, large footprints in his wake. He runs towards a large, red ship and leaps on the wing, removes the glass hatch and jumps in, tossing the briefcase in the back.

Clank waddles out, holding Ratchet's Omniwrench 3000.

You might need this.

Ratchet rolls his eyes as he starts up the ships engines.

Why would I need that for a job interview?

For good luck.


He hops down from the jet, grabs the wrench-weapon, and tosses into the back with his briefcase.

Are you okay, Ratchet?

What? Yeah, I'm fine. I gotta go.

You usually don't leave broken machines around like this.

RATCHET (snarky)
Yeah, well, I don't have a burgeoning acting career like you. Some of us have to do real work.

Clank furrows his brow in anger. Ratchet doesn't see it. He simply hops into the ship, the hatching starting to close around him.

Clank turns and walks away.

CLANK (miffed)
Good luck.

RATCHET (just as miffed)

The hatch closes completely. The ship's rockets burst a huge set of flames as it levitates off the ground, turning in mid-air, and zooming into the sky.


The ship blasts smoothly through the Veldin atmosphere into the deep, rich blackness of space. Stars twinkle brightly in the distance. It is quiet, except for the low hum of the ships fiery propellants.

Ratchet's face, which at first shows resentment, begins to soften into a face of self-doubt. He glances up at the glass hatch, barely seeing his reflection in the glass. It's a sad sight: a down-and-out Lombax, ears drooped, his disheveled suit only make him look more pathetic. He sighs.

The ship blasts through the darkness, whizzing past planets and meteoroids with ease. Other ships on occasion zoom by, all of different shapes and sizes.

Soon, the yellowish planet of Barlow comes into view.

Here we go…

Ratchet presses a few buttons and zoom into the atmosphere of the Barlow planet. He speeds over the rocky, mountainous landscape, sliding between plateaus and other large-sized rock outcroppings. The ship arcs over one particularly large sized mountain, and his eyes fall on an amazing size.

A huge, industrial city is sprawled across the landscape. Flying cars move in and out of the various skyscrapers. The buildings, heck, even the atmosphere seems brand new, fresh, and original. There's a since of lively activity on the streets below and the skies above.

Ariel, robotic flashing cones direct the ships movements down towards a huge, wide canyon of parked ships, filled to the brim. Ratchet sighs again, slowly turning his ship in and around the various markers and other flying vehicles, look for a place to park.

He finally finds one, a rather small space between two beautiful, luxury aircraft. He manages to perform an aerial version of parallel parking, easing in and out between the ships until it fits just right.
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About kjohnson1585one of us since 2:43 PM on 06.23.2009

Kevin Johnson is planning to take over the internet one small blog at a time. A Dartmouth grade with a penchant for having fun, drinking, and all things entertaining, Kevin will do his finest to add thoughtful, insightful looks at gaming and video games in general-- but do not worry, he can be just as snarky as the rest of the internet, 4chan excluded.

This person mainly has a "professional" blog at www.totalmediabridge.com; by "professional," he means it doesn't make money and it's really just a general showcase of his writing skill and blogging ability. In due time, however, he will improve it immensely in the months to go, along with a nice, super-secret project in the works. Stay Tuned!

Unfortunately, he isn't into the new gen-systems, because he can't afford them at the moment, due to the bad economy and student loans. But he still games when he can, mostly the unplayed favorites of the previous generation, and at the very least tries to stay current on what's going on, news wise.

So keep your eyes peeled for some particularly interesting stuff in the next year or so!


I'm currently in the process of writing a Ratchet & Clank screenplay exclusively for Destructoid! It takes place between R&C4: Deadlocked (the last PS2 game) and R&C: Tools of Destruction (the first PS3 game). I know fan fics tend to get pushed aside as lame, but so far the criticism has been positive, so hopefully if you do decide to read this, you won't sigh in annoyance.

So enjoy!

Ratchet and Clank: All or Nothing

Part 1.

Part 2.

Part 3.

Part 4.

Part 5.

Part 6.

Part 7.

Part 8.

Part 9.

Part 10.

Part 11.

Part 12.

Part 13.

Part 14.

Part 15.

Part 16.

Part 17.

Part 18.

Updates every Monday, Wednesdays, and Fridays!

PSN ID:kjohnson1585


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