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Burger King, the new methadone?

So, as some of you may know -- however usual and common it may be -- my third (3) xbox 360 recently passed. My XBLA games were still playable; I didn't suffer the rings of death this time, no, only the first two boxes were plagued with the red ring disease. I had a persistent unplayable disc. No DVDs could be read. Yes, it's very painful.

You see, I'm not a rich man. I was forced to sell my original xbox recently (bills must be paid!), and my other consoles (mostly Nintendo systems) are far, far away at my home base. Here at the University, we have a shortage of space, so certain "last-gen" consoles were forced to stay imprisoned in my closet at my Dad's house. Accordingly, I'm forced into an involuntary withdrawal from one of my most intimate pleasures.

While I sit, remembering the sweet summer nights upon which I spent countless hours teasing the vulva of my gaming based supercomputer I call a VirtuaWoman3000 (or xbox 360), a game pops into the forefront of my mind, igniting my internal flames that yearn for video game based oxygen. It's an unusual title: at the price of a mere $4 and a fatty cow ass I obtained nearly a year ago.

Yes! Sneak King! Why did I not spend more time with you when I had the chance??!!?!

Maybe this is due to my unfortunate withdrawal. Maybe its due to the fact that I'm a sucker for good marketing. Maybe its due to the 2.5 hours I spent at the bar listening to a 58 year old Vietnam veteran who calls himself Baby Jojo ramble on about what his grandma used to tell him (a real nice guy tho). I seriously don't know at this point.

But I feel a strong need to jump out of an outhouse or hollowed out log, into the face of an unsuspecting logger named Jim-Bob with a steamy pile of meat substitute! Piled high, tough guy!!1

Anyone see the new BK commercial? I rofl when the guy yells "SHUT UP!" at his own abdomen. It doesn't make me hungry, but I throw up a lil every time I see it.

Am I the only one who, when forced into an unpleasant situation, reverts to memories of painful while strangely satisfying gameplay? Please tell me I'm not, and back it up with the name of your unholy indulgence...
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About kittridgeone of us since 2:57 PM on 03.03.2007

OMGjuts HOW sik is yu kitZOrz??!?
M4dd H4rdcOrE firealz!!11

srsly u guys:L
I grew up on nintendo (NES, SNES, N64, GC) from the age of 2 in 1987, also owned a sega genesis w/ sega cd attachment, playstation 1 and 2. Also played PC games. I had stopped playing games for a few years.. kids do stupid things, you know. But then, a buddy introduced me to halo 2 (yes, I played Halo 2 before playing Halo 1, don't hate.) and well, I've never been the same. I've probably logged 720hrs < Halo 2 hours < 1440hrs. Maybe more. It was kind of an addiction. I went from what David Houghton would call a "Closet Gamer to a.. well, xbox's equivalent of a WoW fiend. Maybe some of you can understand.

Fortunately (or not), the 360 brought me a variety of new games to get addicted to. 200+ hrs on Oblivion, 100+ hrs on Saints Row, numerous other games. Crackdown, Gears (not so much because I think multiplayer is broken) and Monster Madness - a highly underrated game. Also, I'm a beast when it comes to Geometry Wars or Lumines Live. There's better, but I can compete.

In early July, my 360 broke - that's two (2) RRoD and one (1) persistent "unplayable disc" - and since then, I haven't played a single game. You could say I'm pretty fed up with Microsoft right now. But, the games are just too good to pass up. I'll stick with them until they get it right. Bastards. They're damn lucky they own Bungie.

I've diverted my attention to other ventures...

It's been pretty rough. Let's just say, I've spent a lot more time here, discussing games, to try to stave off withdrawal. Yes. I have a problem. Don't judge.

While I've been here more often, I see that there's all kinds of turmoil erupting throughout the internets; I aspire to bring an end to this.

also, cocks? duzn;t make sence u guyz but oK

GT: Kittridge

If you're from the 'Burgh, hit me up let's LAN. Yinz hear me?

Go Steelers!

Emetrol is win..

Xbox LIVE:kittridge


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