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Die Hard Trilogy: First Look Review

It's been a hard day's night and I've been working like a dog. That's mostly true. I've been working alot more lately since a co-worker went down with an injury and I do technically work nights. The only fallacy in that statement for me is the "working like a dog" part....because for a rare instance last night we hardly did fuck all. I work nights in a supermarket so it's rare when we aren't battling the clock. It's still been a big reason why I haven't posted a blog in a while even though I've had several blog ideas in me. But you didn't come here to hear me lament upon the pitfalls of a shitty job...ya came for the VIDEO GAMES....shit I just hope you come regardless.

Which brings me to the pleasant surprise I received yesterday while I waited for the inevitable. My used copy of Die Hard Trilogy for the good ol' PSOne arrived! I bought a cheap copy of the game for 10 dollars off eBay and surprisingly it arrived a few days earlier than expected. So now I can add Die Hard Trilogy to the hallowed halls of thine PSOne collection. If you happened to read my Introductory Blog Die Hard Trilogy was a game that brought my interest to the PSOne so it was like a big "finally" moment to get a copy of this game.

Kinda disappointed with that pic. I probably should have stood up some games but that is my modest collection shared with my younger brother. The irony is that alot of those games are purchasable on the PSN too, but we've kept them all this time like rare nuggets of gold, never knowing when we'd want to go back to Raccoon City and join the fray with Leon S. Kennedy or infiltrate Shadow Moses again and again with Snake (which I can do in both classic and revamped Gamecube fashion, YA!). It really does disappoint me that I have a similar box of PlayStation 2 games gathering dust because Sony feels the PS2 is still a "big seller" and thus backwards compatibility takes money out of their already full pockets. When's it gonna be my time Sony? I guarantee they'll wait till the PS4.

I can however say that this purchase can chalked up on the positive side of my eBay purchases. I've ordered most of the Final Fantasy Chronicles and Collections (the ones with the original NES' and Chrono Trigger) off of stores on eBay and they've all worked fine, even if some were by virtue of being sealed. Then again my only negative was my cheap 5 dollar purchase of Star Wars: Jedi Power Battles which came sans booklet or proper case. It never worked...but should I be surprised? I ended up buying a brand spanking new SEALED copy of Jedi Power Battles for 40 dollars and guess what? I never play it. Sure it has almost EVERYTHING to do with the absolute FAIL that is both my eyesight and THEIR use of platforming, as falling from upon high literally takes all your lives away and the deep difficulty just killed it....okay that and playing newer PS3 games is way too distracting and fun.

However I can see myself picking up and playing Die Hard Trilogy without much problems and coming back to it. Well that and it's hilarious menu screen. It literally is A) Nakatomi Plaza B) an Airplane and C) a Taxi as your three choices with the associated movie name above them sitting above a spinning disc, because let's not forget this game is on Disc! IT'S THE FUTURE! We must point this out! Then there's the greatest feature of the entire game, the voiceovers on the menu screen. Every time you select a different game, a voice says something from either a specific point in the game or just something random the guy doing McClane will say. That's the thing though, the hammy voice acting is hilarious. The guy doing McClane's voice is just so forced and while I get he's trying to peg Willis' sarcastic tone the way he does it just so robotic and bad that it indeed is funny but for the wrong reasons. The other voices are hilarious too. The actor doing Dennis Franz's Captain from Die Hard 2 is just funny because he says "There is firing in the terminal" with indifference that makes it more of a statement of fact rather than any real attempt to do anything about it. With these ingredients together, we now return to the menu screen (didn't think I was going anywhere with this did you) where we can rotate between the three scenarios at high speeds as quotes are thrown out and thrown together to make one big garbled mess of dialogue. This alone was worth 10 dollars. But wait there's more, there's an actual game to be played here (three different ones actually) and while I haven't beaten the game, these are my first impressions

yes, this game will feature hazards to McClane's slipperless feet

The first game based on the first movie, is a 3rd person shooter which has you navigating 20 floors of the Nakatomi building, shooting bad guys and saving hostages. Maybe it's me, but while I can get past the first stage, I can't seem to find enough health, it seems like I'm clinging on for dear life. It also doesn't help that McClane against one or two guys is fine, but a full group and he's a bullet magnet. Where's the health guy? While it is pretty fun, I won't lie...that's like 10 floors too much. That's Ghostbusters on NES ridiculous...but without the shitty mobility. So far so good, what'dja got for me next?

Just another day for the Airport Police....that was until the day there was "firing in the terminal!"

I'd probably say my favourite based purely on the fondness of my memories for this game. Basically the first level of the Dullas Airport shootout was the on the demo I played in the Toys R' Us all those years ago and basically seeing it made me think "this is the future of gaming!". Keep in mind this was 1996 and games like Streets Of Rage and Sonic The Hedgehog were the zenith of gameplay design in my world. Now look at the Wii and their sky high collection of rail shooters, which aren't bad but I'd like to see the Wii get more FPS games based on those rail shooters. Anyway as far as gameplay is concerned, what you see is what you get. McClane gets a pretty hefty arsenal of guns as he traverses the various stages of the airport and beyond. Of course that hilarious voice actor makes scoring a Rocket Launcher all the more rewarding. "Christmas came early!"

"Hezeus? Do I look Hispanic to you? He said 'HEY ZEUS'

Now comes what I consider the worst game in the game. Driving. Not necessarily bad out of the gate, I've apparently got no grasp of the concept that or I'm just not fast enough. I realize that I'm supposed to magically disarm bombs with my car but also I get to play bumper cars with better cars so I can upgrade my ride. One missed bomb and the whole city goes KABOOM. Funny considering I don't remember Jeremy Irons literally planting a bomb that could do that in the movie but then again, when hasn't a movie based game embellished on the plot to draw out the game experience. Conclusion, "No Sir, I didn't like it". I may stay away from the driving altogether or atleast till I've maxed out my enjoyment on the other two. Either way the weakest portion of the game.

In Conclusion: I'd like to leave you all with one final thought before I wrap up this behemoth and thank you all for coming. If Bruce Willis can allow his likeness (and lend his voice to?) a game called Apocalypse....then where was the love for Die Hard Trilogy? Also, why the hell do they call him Silent Bob anyway?

thank you all for coming.
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About garethxxgodone of us since 9:50 AM on 02.17.2010

Me at work

Hey, I'm garethxxgod, not much to say really. I play guitar and stuff. I'm pushing 30 and I still love gaming.

Love you Dad!

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