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The Evil of Gift-Cards....(NVGR)

Americans are so selfish.

"Hey Tyler, I know/love you enough to give you a gift, but I don't trust/love you quite enough, and I want to make sure you spend my money at this specific place." No offense to the literally thousands of people who have given me gift cards over the years, but FUCK YOU! Give me cash or give me death, I'm pretty sure that's what Patrick Henry meant to say.

I'm not a junkie regardless of what the University of Texas Propaganda Machine might lead you to believe. I'm not going to spend your money on drugs and/or hookers unless I'm really really really bored. Understand that gift-cards are a huge scam for many reasons.

Can you see the metaphor I'm throwing down?
Number first: either the gift cards are lost or not used until they have expired. Number B, the gift cards are for places I would never frequent, like Starbucks, a giftcard I've gotten on at least 8 seperate occasions yet I never drink coffee of any kind. If you don't know me well enough to know I don't drink coffee, please just spend the money on yourself and stop projecting on me.

Lesson 3: many people will forget/throw away their giftcards with 3 to 8 dollars left over because again they didn't want to shop at the store in the first place. Also the establishment won't give change back or you don't have enough money to buy what you want so you end up paying the difference.

For all these reasons and more realize that the sole reason gift-cards exist are for companies to fuck you in the ass. You might as well just walk up to best buy and give them your money. "But Tyler, I'm responsible, I use my gift-cards to the max!" Of course everyone <i>intends</I> to spend their plastic money, but the reality is companies wouldn't push them so hard if they weren't making money. Form follows function, and in 'America' the function is to make money. If you don't know this by now then see you in hell comrade.

For some reason giving money has become taboo or impersonal in this day and age.
"Thanks Aunt that I see once a I year! I do like video games, music, movies, and expensive electronic equipment, how'd you know?!?!."

In conclusion I guess I'm in the minority. I give gifts that I know for a fact that people want, or I think will enjoy. So before you waste yours and my time by getting a gift-card remember: money is a gift but gift-cards are an obligation.[i]
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About epochone of us since 2:28 PM on 02.08.2007

Dear Internet,

I live in the suburbs. In my free-time I play video games and make rap music.

During real life I manage dumb people, wrangle their animal instincts into worker bee perfection. I think the greatest game of all time is Chrono Trigger. I'm the coolest guy I know and my own best friend.


My memories are chemicals and yours are too


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