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Japan: A Blog (from the year 2005) pt 3 of 912.

*** Where's part 2? It's coming... I have pictures at home that I don't have at work or posted publicly anywhere, so my first real visit to Tokyo comes first

10 pm that night...

Well, I really can't into details about all that, but suffice to say, they never found the ice pick and I got to stay the rest of my time in Japan without deportation. Japanese prisons are not fun.

So, that next day, I decided to take a trip down to Tokyo, visiting Harajuku and Akihabara.

First stop was Harajuku.

As soon as I get off the train, I spot a local celebrity family.

It's the Fuccons! Holy SHIT! The first real American Japanese family!

I figured a picture was the best way to greet them and approach them as celebs. They refused to sign autographs, which is typical of celebrities when they hit the big time. Mikey's autograph goes for around 200Y which is like a million dollars in US money.

After parting ways with the local celebs, I turned my attention to the major destination in Harajuku.

That's right, the cosplayers.

Being that it was August, there were 4 cosplayers there, and unless you're really into Rocky Horror rejects there's not much to show you. Instead, I offer this photo of some maid girls wandering the streets of Yamagata in search of Gokkun Kimochi or something like that...

Maid girls are Japan's crack whores, they troll the streets looking to serve tea to anyone who'll drink it. Quite sad, really.

I then turned my attention to Meji Park, which is nearby. Meji Park contains the Meji Shrine as well as the Meji Park restaurant, the Meji Park bathrooms, and the Meji Park 500Y Wish Tree.

Big-ass Tori gate marking the entrance to the path of the bathroom.
Note: There is a line forming already. The Japanese love line-standing.

While in line to go to the toi-rei they offer you a variety of snacks and drinks to aid in your wait and need to pee when you get to the toi-rei. Note: You're allowed to pee anywhere you want at all if you're drunk. It's Japanese law.

Japanese vending machine selling American sugar water and Canadian hoo-doo!

After clearing the bathroom line, I made it to the Wish Tree. What is the wish tree? I dunno, but it's 500Y for a placard, scribble a prayer on it, stick it on the tree, and the next day Santa comes to visit with sailor outfits and video games. I think. I didn't part with the 500Y to find out.

Wish tree, seen before Santa and the elves arrive

After hitting the Tree, I felt the holiday rush hit me, so I ventured out onto Takeshite Street.
I was mildly disappointed with Takeshite street because there were nigh, few, if any places to take a crap out in the open. I had originally figured, "It is Japan, and they do have the market cornered on poo toys and scat fetishes..." but this was not meant to be. Instead, I found the street crawling with teenagers and ruffians. Scads of 'em. All over the place. All buying up the latest ironic tshirts with nonsensical english phrases on 'em. Babies covered in glitter, and really stupid signs.

Takeshite street. It's a lot longer walk when you're xenophobic and agoraphobic. If you're not, it's about 300 yards or so.


Glamor Shots for dudes in Japan, I guess. And just like the US, they have retarded people that have no business looking "pretty" doing just that.

After locating a Subway in Japan, and finding out what Japanese for "Turkey Sub on Wheat, Hold the Mayo and Onions" was, I decided to head over to Akihabara.

Ah, Akihabara. You tease. You send us endless images of anime, video games, and Morgan Webb standing next to a scantily clad girl handing out tissue packs. And yet, when I get there, it's a mixed bag... Yes, there are video game stores. Yes there are scantily clad girls handing out tissue packs to strangers. But there are also air conditioners, refrigerators, office equipment, and a shit ton of cellphones being sold there too. Also, freak-ass animal porn stores. The less said about that the better.

Akihabara from the train station. It may not look like much right now, but just you wait, there's magic in this part of town...

The infamous Club Sega is quite easy to find and frankly, I can't recommend you go there. They're very picky about who gets to go in and who doesn't. I roll up in my best Red Overalls and Plumber's Cap, and they show me the door. I even offered the door guy some 'shrooms, but nothin' doing. Then some bitch rolls up flashin' his fuckin emerald rings around and shit and gets in immediately. Posers.

So, instead, I spent the next hour wandering the streets, looking for the elusive duty-free shop called LAOX where I could buy fabulous tax free items like WALK-MANS and KA-ME-RAS.

More to come. In Part 4, I discuss getting stranded in the prettiest, middle of nowhere, ever, with no way to get home, and the gentle touch of a middle aged Japanese pervert.
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About BluDesignone of us since 11:49 AM on 11.10.2006

I own a FamPuter, which is a 100% fake Famicom. And I do own Super Mario Bros. and Rockman 2 for it, which you don't. :P

I'm a 34 year old gamer. I cannot hang out with most of you, and you should not contact me to buy you cheap wine or cigarettes. I do not like jail. Seriously, I own all three consoles and I don't discriminate. Gaming is for fun, not for sissy slapfights. If you consider yourself partial to a particular console, I don't care why you don't own other consoles, I don't want to hear about it. If you're going to bitch about something, you'd better bring some hard evidence of why you're complaining if you want to cry on my shoulder.

Enjoy this wonderful picture of 2 generations coming together at last...

PS - I eat trolls.

PPS - I've been to Japan. Maybe you've heard about it? If not, read up here:

Part 1: Introductions
Part 2: Yamagata's Hanagasa Festival
Part 3: Harajuku Girls and the lack thereof
Part 4: You're not in Kansas anymore, Niero (TGS07)
Part 5: Fresh from the farm to your mouth
Part 6: Going to Japan is hard
Part 7: 30 days takes forever
Part 8: Rape, Rocks, and Alliteration
Part 9: Small Town Nightlife
Part 10: Bling Bling, Hundred Thousand Yen Bill Ya'll
Part 10 Part 2: Mount Yamadera
Part 11: The Japanese Wal-Mart
Part 12: Goin' Down to Tokyo Town
Part 13: Ghiblit Gravy
Part 14: Air Sex
Part 15: Ganguros of New Tokyo
Part 16: The Contest Announcement
Part 17: The Contest
Part 18: The Trip Itinerary
Part 19: Tokyo Day 2
Part 20: Tokyo Day 2 Part 2 (of 2)
Part 21 is no longer there, but it wasn't all that great anyway, so you're not missing out.
Part 22: Happy Picture Montage Time!
Part 23: I have arrived.
Part 24: I have returned.
Part 25: The Case for the American Cheeseburger
Part 26: Random pictures are random
Part 27: A Free Gift for Those Who've Been Paying Attention
Part 28: Nintendo, no seriously, NINTENDO
Part 29: Racists in Japan, Discriminating against the handicapped
Special Report from Cheapy D at CAG
Part 30: The Secret Truth About Japan
Part 31: Oz-Matsuri
Part 32: The Japanese Don't Have Antiperspirant Deodorant

Part 33: There's this Disney character named Stitch in Japan...
Part 34: Trainspotting: Live From Kyoto
Part 35: Kyoto for Beginners
Part 36: Kyoto Smash: Advance Lesson in Fun Time
Part 37: Some Japanese people are alcoholics
Part 38: Hardcore Otaku know where the real action is
Part 40: My attempt at getting the Oscar for Best Japanese Picture
Part 41: What heaven is like.
Part 42: I sneak into a movie studio to pitch my movie
Part 41: What heaven is like.
Part 43: My film idea is shot down in favor of yet another Power Rangers TV show
Part 44: Excessive Male Nudity in Japan
Part 45: The Japanese grocery store has no deli counter
Part 46: How the Japanese language is worked into Japan's society
Part 47: Izukayas and you: How the Japanese drink in public
Part 48: All you really need to know about the Tokyo Auto Show
Part 49: Gyudon Rocks.
Part 50: Tendo is the coolest place in all of Japan
Part 51: I really did poop immediately after that shot
Part 52: A Beginner's Guide to Tokyo Disney Sea
Part 53: There is no comparison. Cheeseburgers win.
Part 55: You've never had Tonkatsu, so you wouldn't understand
Part 56: Japanese iTunes for the Mac addict
Part 57: The other kind of Curry
Part 58: Popular Pop and "Lock" music in Japan
Part 59: I sing like how cats have sex
Part 60: The Iron Penis Festival
Part 61: A sad bit about racism in Japan
Part 9001: Electro Lemon's whirlwind visit to Tokyo
Xbox LIVE:metalocalypse
PSN ID:BluDesign
Mii code:5154504518393743


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