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I Love Wii Play! Both kinds! Guess which I'm refering to in this context...

I didn't really "discover" this game until last night even though it's been in my house for a couple months. But as I finally did so yesterday, causing me to spend hours sipping Pepsi and playing awesome and addicting mini-games, I loved it harder than your mom. If you don't think that was witty, you gotta remember that I'm in Canada and culturally it's essentially 1991 here; so we still think that Bush is president, that the US is war with Iraq, and that waiting for NES games to come out is interesting. Anyway...

This game should be called "I play" for me. No, not because I "HAVE NO FRIENDS LOL!" (for those who are still living in February or whatever) but because none of them want to play THIS game with me, because it was a critical failure. Douches. But I stand firming in liking it. Sure, it's kind of limited. But the variety in the games like totally makes up for this, so that the odds are you'll love one or two (or in my case, five) of them enough to want to play it over and over.

You start with only one of its ten mini-games unlocked, and have to play each one in order to unlock the last, which happens to be the best one. That is pretty suck. But unless you're really incompetent, this won't take more than fifteen minutes.

The shooting one gives us obvious Duck Hunt nostalgia, fun nostalgia, but gets old pretty fast. Table Tennis is one of those Wii games where you need to concintrate, mess up eventually, and are therefore drawn to go back later. Laser Hockey is great multiplayer fun (okay sometimes I get other people to play it with me between Halo 2 and being gay sessions.) And it's just as good as any fully priced hockey game. Tanks, the last game, and by far the best, has you using the nunchuk to move a tank in a 2-D environment, shotting at other tanks by aiming with the Wiimote, which I don't think I'll ever get sick of; you move from level to level, fighting more and more tanks in more and more complex environment; the part that sucks is that the only multiplayer is co-op. Last but not least (it's actually second best,) is a game where you race MOTHERFUCKING COWS. This game would be a huge amount of fun drunk. In fact, any quality Wii game would be. Althoughb, you'd probably play it badly. I mean you certainly would. You hold the Wii-mote like a steering wheel, tipping it forward to go faster, and lifting it up to make the cow jump. Technically you're not racing. You're actually going around a track seeing how many scarecrows you can hit and, unless you're playing multiplayer, you race alone. Seeing yourself use a Wiimote to race around a track where the goal is not to finish quickly but an ulterior motive will remind you of Excite Truck.

That's only the half that I like. Although if I don't like the other five, as I'm pretty sympathetic to noveltWii, you probably won't. I was going to write about "the games I've been loving recently" but I spent so much time on Wii Play that I decided to change the topic. So an apology goes out to Custom Robo Arena and Sim City DS.

Lastly, if you're considering buying this game by now, remember that it comes with a free Wiimote. Considering that, it's pretty cheap. But it's not big deal if you don't buy it now. In fifteen years it will be on the Super WiiCube 64's Virtual Console.
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About dprim3one of us since 3:32 AM on 01.05.2007

Holy crap. Don't blog on this account any more. https://www.destructoid.com/blogs/dprime