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Randomtoid: This is the Beginning of the End(VNVGR)

Ladies and gentlemen of the internets, I come before you today to let you know that the world is going down the drain. I doubt we'll even make it to 12-21-12 and whatever craziness the damn Mayans planned for us. My opinion is they'll relea...

 
 
 

E3 is Serious Business: Randomtoid Thoughts

Shouldn't we be done with E3 by now? Hasn't this monster grown too large and lived too long? Has not the braying of the insects infested our ears long enough to drive us to madness? I mean, E3 has the highest mortality rate out there at ...

 
 
 

A Cast of Thousands: Kain Highwind

Massive spoilers ahead Kain Highwind is probably one of my favorite game characters ever created. He is a well-written, conflicted, deeply troubled soul. There is a reason he was on the cover of the game. And even though all the other ch...

 
 
 

A Cast of Thousands: Tellah

"You spoony bard!" These are the words Tellah will forever be known for. But besides those words, Tellah is one of the more memorable characters created for any game. From his inauspicious start waiting for help in the cave to Damcyan to...

 
 
 

My Thoughts On Brett Favre's "Retirement" (NVGR)

First off, let me apologize to BigPopa. I know you love the guy, hell I love the guy, but it's shit like this that I can't stand. Brett "Let's Throw Some More Interceptions" Farve is contemplating coming back. After his tearful farewell i...

 
 
 

Randomtoid: Dedicated to Chad

Alright Chad, I know I give you alot of shit sometimes for your love of dolphins, but I found this and thought I'd make a peace offering to you. Behold the mighty sea-faring power of the Innespace Seabreacher!!! Now, you kids may have a...

 
 
 

Randomtoid: Pokemon + Cloverfield = Holy Crap!

So, what do you get when you cross the happiest one line spewing character of all time with the most recent monster that wasn't in the Host? Which is a great movie btw. Apparently you get this: IMHO, Pokemon would be waaaaay cooler ...

 
 
 

A Cast of Thousands: Cecil Harvey

After reading this months Monthly Musing topic, I knew instantly who I was going to do first. If you've read some of my previous attempts at blogging, you know that I'm a Final Fantasy II(IV) fanatic. It's pretty much all that was good in...

 
 
 

A Sad, Sad Tale

So there I was. Just, you know, chilling, bored out of my head and sobering up from years of alcohol abuse when I decided to play me some Ninja Gaiden 2. I'd gotten a little ways into it (by which I mean to the second boss) and I'd decided ...

 
 
 

Over Nine Thousaaaaand.

To be honest, I hate this meme. I hate everyone associated with it. I've never understood it, I hate DBZ, and I hate you. Well, most of you. But I couldn't pass up the opportunity to post today's Cyanide and Happiness, which immediately mad...

 
 
 
 
 

Randomtoid: Why Gamers Shouldn't Use Real Guns

So I happened across this video over at the geekologie, and it just goes to show what the media really doesn't get about the fact that real guns have much more rumble and feedback than an Xbox 360 controller or a PS3 controller. Hell, a DS ...

 
 
 

Randomtoid: Bowser is an Idiot

Yep...so to make up for that failure, here's some chicks sticking their tounges out. The rest Also, NSFW Vagina bike. Edit: Just found this on the onion, sometimes they win. Wario Lemieux. Edit 2: For everyone wondering about ...

 
 
 

The Start of the Affair: Final Fantasy II

Let me just start off by saying that this wasn't the first game I played, nor was it even the first RPG I played. That title belongs to Super Mario Bros. and the original Final Fantasy, respectively. No, this is the first game I fell comp...

 
 
 

Cinci NARP: Random Thoughts 2

Some moar random observations from the NARP. Riser is like the fucking christ of drinking. Make him disappear for a few hours, he comes back just as strong. Tazarthayoot is pretty much what you expect. Except much, much moar awesome. And ...

 
 
 

Cinci NARP: Random Thoughts

So, I made it home from the Cinci NARP at about 3 this morning. Some of y'all will remember that we left about noon thirty from cinci. Which is a horrible fucking city by the way. Stupid freeway taking us into Indiana...Anyway, here's just ...

 
 
 

Randomtoid: Holy Sh*t. This Is Awesome.(NVGR)

We all know adding things to your car makes it special. Much like this burger cooker. But this...The title says it all. Holy shit. This is awesome. I do want one of these for my car, as impractical as it may be. That's right. A flamethr...

 
 
 

Randomtoid: Can We Stop Using the N-Word?

Pre-emptive disclaimer/writer's note: This is just a small rant based off of a pet peeve of mine. DON'T TAKE IT THE WRONG WAY. I'm just throwing it out there. You can catch it if you want, or you could let it just go right by. I want to be ...

 
 
 
 

Abusing the Cblogs: Avatar Chat

Yes, that's right. Avatar chat. First, let me say: Alright, back on topic. I was just thinking to myself, and if you haven't noticed, changing my av every few hours and days, wondering what everyone thinks about avatar changes. For the m...

 
 
 

Biololshocats!!!!!

Old memes are old, but this is the first I've seen of 'em. So if you, like me, have never seen the Bioshocats of lol, here they are. Also, spoilers. But you reeeeeeeeeeeeally should've beaten this by now. And since that's re...

 
 
 

Nintendo Wii being blamed for Childhood Aggression

In yet another case of the media turning on gamers, a report that an alarming rise in violence among children is being blamed on the wii, released today by the most trusted source of news. After an incident happened in a Cleveland area scho...

 
 
 
 
 

My Destructoid Thank You Blog, a.k.a. tl;dr

Destructoid. Since the first time I visited, I've had it hooked in my mind. My days are wasted at work, and I constantly want to know what's going on on the site. I know I can sometime come across as an ass, but I'm really a nice guy, and t...

 
 
 

Link Dump #2, or Why Can't it be Five Yet?

It's a slow workday, I feel like ass due to staying up drinking and playing Rock Band, and I'm bored. So, here's your "When the [email protected] is Today Gonna be Over" link dump. Link #1 - The greatest fishing tournament ever. Link #2 - Hitlery Clin...

 
 
 

Retro Gaming Contest: Shadowrun

SHADOWRUN Aiight, let me tell you 'bout a little game I know by the name of Shadowrun. This is one of my personal favorite cult classic games. Although I know not if it's a cult classic or not, I will bill it that way. Don't ask question...

 
 
 

A Public Apology...

To you, my wii, I owe an apology. For the longest time you've sat next to my TV, waiting patiently while I've been busy plowing into my 360, keeping the PS2 near the side, and sneaking off to my room for a little SNES action. No more. No,...

 
 

About blehmanone of us since 8:11 PM on 08.01.2007

Real name: Mike

Amazing gif!



bleh, man
Age:29
Lives in: Dallas, Tx
Occupation: Mayor of Metro City
Member of: Official Destructoid Beard Club
Consoles: 360, ds, snes, ps2
Hobbies: Games, reading, guitar, drinking

Because The GHost is teh awesome, my dtoid playing card:


Wanderingpixel is also awesome.


Current Games:

All of the things


Old Blogs:
Teh Randomtoid Linktoid (This is all my randomtoid blogs in one spot)
My Dtoid Thank You Note
One year w00t!
Avatar Chat
My Feelings On "Next-Gen"
Bleh-views:
Star Wars: The Force Unleashed
Lost: Via Domus
Community Discussion Time!
Gaming Journalism
Oh snap! Front paged!
Playing with Others: The Death of Split-Screen



My Hero:



My Left 4 Dead Dream Movie



Longcat:



Myspace profile: what the fuck is a myspace and when did this get here?

To e-mail malicious hatemail: [email protected]

To whomever drew my header: Awesome
Note: old header link here

For Wiisucks:
Hi! My name is Jack Klassen.! I'm a completely ordinary teenage boy from San Diego, California. My interests include soccer, surfing, writing poetry, and luge. I am homeschooled by my father who fought in the Korean War and was exposed to nerve gas. He is kind of crazy but I still love him. We got the Internet two years ago and I started making new friends on Yahoo! messenger. Surprisingly, most of these new friends were older men who wanted to have illegal, underage sex with me. Needless to say, I got a boner like a rocketship and cybersex quickly became my favorite thing in the entire world. Wait, did I say boner like a rocketship? I meant my vagina got as wet as Lake Titicaca. I started saving all of the hot chat sessions I was having with the Pakistanis, lesbians, child molesters and other monsters who were instant messaging me all day and all night, and I decided to put them up here on this website so you can see exactly how disgusting the entire human race is. Since then, I have been in a waterskiing accident that mangled my genitals beyond repair, been diagnosed with cerebral palsy, brain cancer, and Crohn's disease, learned to speak Urdu and French, covered my naked body in superglue, went to French lesbian camp, made a Hindu eat a roast beef sandwich out of my vagina, and ruined perfectly good cybersex for at least one hundred people. Use the menu above to find out more about me and start reading my sexy adventures,





Also, I make people from Pheonix Wright cry:


Also, also, sparkle:


Also, also, also, jiggles:


Also, also, also, also, Trent!


Alsox5, kitteh:


Also, X-mas Shake(a.k.a. itemforty is teh sex)
 
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