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Video Games No Longer Help Me

Struggling to write. This is what I came up with. *** My best memories are from video games, The purest form of laughter and merriment, Playing GoldenEye and Perfect Dark, For hours on end with a select few pals. The realization that F...

 
 
 

Game Industry: Trailer Failure, Part 2 (Final)

Part 1 can be read here. To Rift or Not To Rift † There's only one way to prevent a rift from occurring in the people who enjoy video games in the coming years: companies need to present their product as distinctive. It's no longer a game ...

 
 
 

Game Industry: Trailer Failure, Part 1

Gaming publishers need a basic lesson in proper promotion. Let's get one thing straight: the current model for selling copies of an overblown money-laden video game is downright barbaric. The industry is still using fire to warm their caves...

 
 
 

Another Day Hath Ended, My Gaming Friends...

So I spent the majority of my time writing today. This blog isn't a fruit of that labor because it ended up being a 2,500 word provocative piece that needs to be read over, edited, and conveyed in a presentable manner. It's very passionate ...

 
 
 

Metal Gear Solid: Secrets Unearthed!

Hello there! I know I don't write often enough to be remembered, but don't worry my dear reader. I've got your back when it comes to video games. After exploring the jungles of Cambodia and the scuzziest lower east-side dive bars, I ran int...

 
 
 

StarCraft II: It's tearing me apart, Lisa!

Alright fellas and felines, I gotta be Spongebob Square with you. I really wanted to write this amazing blog that explained in detail what I thought of StarCraft II, which I recently acquired after Amazon betrayed Blizzardís profit masters ...

 
 
 

World of WarCraft releases New Charity Pet

† IRVINE, CA Ė Blizzard Entertainment has made a new minipet available for sale in the MMO World of WarCraft today, sources report. The company has a history of creating virtual companions for the purpose of raising funding for charities s...

 
 
 
 

A Message to the Destructoid Community

Hello everyone. Today I'm writing something a little different. Itís Christmas Eve, so you have more important things to do than read the ramblings of a madman; I promise I'll make this short and sweet. When I became a member of Destructoid...

 
 
 

Witcher 3: Wild Hunt Review

As none of you will know, I possess a time machine I use to frequent the future for the singular purpose of playing brand new products before they release in the primary timeline. As a result, I have immense knowledge of future gaming indus...

 
 
 

Final Fantasy VII HD Remake Announced

Final Fantasy VII HD Remake Announced in Alternate Universe † JAPAN, EARTH 2 Ė EnixSoft CEO Matsuke Yosuda announced at a press conference yesterday that development was nearing completion on a Final Fantasy VII HD remake of 1997's hit JRPG...

 
 
 

VGX: An In-Depth Analysis (Final Part)

You can read part 3 by clicking here. End Game I'll be honest with you dear reader. I'm sick and tired of writing about VGX. I've thrown witticisms at this sexy stripper of an article like so many dollar bills and I'm just about broke. It...

 
 
 

VGX: An In-depth Analysis (Part 3)

Part 2 can be read here: http://www.destructoid.com/blogs/Zuckerhund/vgx-an-in-depth-analysis-part-2--267341.phtml And on the Second Hour... The Lutece Twins were one of the nominees for character of the year, which boggled my mind so muc...

 
 
 

VGX: An In-depth Analysis (Part 2)

Part 1 can be read here: http://www.destructoid.com/blogs/Zuckerhund/vgx-an-in-depth-analysis-part-1--267240.phtml Raiding Reggie's Patience The second premiere was the PC version of Tomb Raider being announced for the PS4 and Xbox One. ...

 
 
 

VGX: An In-depth Analysis (Part 1)

If VGX 2013 is to be classified as an awards show, then I implore everyone to consider Ryse as the greatest, most historically accurate representation of ancient Rome. While most have been quick to call VGX a train wreck, that descriptor is...

 
 
 

Nvidia Releases GTX Gigantus

CALIFORNIA Ė The Nvidia Corporation has hit the next generation market by storm, industry executives said this Tuesday. The surprise announcement of the GTX Gigantus was met with an unparalleled awe and well deserved fear. Lead Designer Fra...

 
 

About Zuckerhundone of us since 9:30 AM on 12.09.2013

I'm a floundering writer who would love nothing more than to actually be paid one day for something I create. I know, it sounds incredibly brutal and honest, but I'm getting old and tired. I love video games and sleeping.

Sometimes I stare into the abyss of youtube videos and weep internally as a smile creeps its way into my face, a hollow mimicry of what happiness is.

Also, manatees.