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Zombie Orwell
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Talking To Humans About Videogames (StriderHoang Edition)

Dearest dearest filthiest peoples: Here is an information for you to enjoy: I speak with the Strider who is Hoang about videogames.


1: Dearest StriderHoan, why are you a human?
I'm not. I'm Asian.

2: How have you discovered my beloved Destructzord?
After leaving my previous homestead in order to forage for more resources, a white wolf led me to a pristine lake where it told me to build a new home where weary travelers could rest and be eaten by it. In exchange, it promised not to eat me until 17 days later it tried to kill me but I killed it in double Jeopardy.

Also, my sister told me about it.

3: Are you delicious?
I'm probably fattening. It must be true, in that whatever's delicious must be bad for you. Then again, a lot of Asian cuisine is either an acquired taste or Americanized.

4: Is Jason Brody from Far Cry 3 the worst protagonist in any videogame ever?
I think any hedgehog that's not Sonic is worse.

5: Why are the humans on youtube videos not eaten?
They are our new young leaders of America. In 2013, we elect our leaders through their number of subscribers.

6: I wanna know: have you ever seen the rain?
But then why do birds suddenly appear?

7: Is there an inherent anti-human bias in all videogames?
As long as aliens continue to manufacture our video games. Oh wait, I wasn't supposed to reveal that. How does the backspace work again? Oh no I forgot I took it to the cleaners I can't backspace!

8: What is a videogame?
A miniature universe for us to break. Also, Animal Crossing.

9: What was that noise?
If it was the sound of money falling it was probably nothing but I'll go check.


Follow our twats: @StriderHoang and @ZombieOrwell.

Your leader,
Zombie Orwellllllllllllllllllllllll
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About Zombie Orwellone of us since 3:07 PM on 03.30.2012

My fellow internet zombie brethren:

It is my specious pleasure to be addressing you in the fullness of time. My name is Zombie Orwell. You will be hearing a lot from me in the coming months as we ratchet up the intensity of our Zombie Rights Revolution.

I wish all of you safe human-hunting. Please message me ([email protected]) if you have questions or free tacos.

I love you!

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