Gaming News, Game Reviews, Game Trailers, Tech News

dtoid   |   japanator   |   flixist   |   tomopop   |   store


 
Zombie Orwell blog header photo
Zombie Orwell
Posts 2Blogs 104Following 9Followers 32


 
 








On Destructoid:
Most Comments

more notable stories

FAQ

Who updates the homepage?
Our Staff
What is Destructoid?
Long story
Can I submit a story?
#BloggersWanted
Dark theme?
Yep
Site rules?
Douche lightly
Ethics much?
Read this
Privacy?
Common sense
Who owns my posts?
You do


Get in touch

Editorial contacts
Meet our staff
Ask a question
Community@
Get support
Support@
Story idea?
Tips@
Everything else
Get in touch

LONG BLOG

Give me Podtoid.

   0
Podtoid is dead. It has been dead for several weeks. And its corpse has been flogged and quartered by some podcast called the Dismayed Jackals, hosted by a defector and two moles planted in Dtoid and trying to destroy us. Podtoid must come back to life.

Give it to me.

I want it.

I will leave a thousand corpses in every major American city until it is mine. If I run out of major American cities to terrorize, I will turn to Canada. Then Mexico. Then Germany. Then Japan.

If that is not enough, I will retrace my steps and leave 4,000 more burned corpses in every city I've already sacked. Still not convinced? Maybe I should try a softer approach:

Niero, Hamza, M Randy Dixcon, Dale, Jonathan, Conrad... Give me Podtoid and I will fix the gaming industry. It is in danger of becoming like Podtoid: another ravaged corpse in a wasteland. But I can change the course of history. I am Orwell.

I am Orwell.

Just imagine it. No more DLC. No more season passes. No more shoehorned multiplayer. All this is possible, through me. Only through me.

You have no other option. You can avoid the senseless and brutal deaths of millions by merely giving me the keys to Podtoid.

I also demand Benny Disco and Occam's Electric Toothbrush. Send them to me so that I can strap them to chairs and force microphones into their soft tracheae. Benny Disco, Occam's Electrical Razor, and the zombie who is Orwell (who is me). It shall be magnificent.

Give in to my demands within 48 hours or the world will burn.

Death or rejuvenation.

Choose wisely.



From the mountains of southeastern Mexico:
Your leader
Zombie Orwell
Login to vote this up!

LOOK WHO CAME:


Zombie Orwell   
Snaileb    1
RenaudB90   1
Jagger Gravning   1
ooktar   1
Benny Disco   1
JawshButturBawls   1
long john   1
SirNinjaFace   1
vxxy   1
aHolein1   1
vecha   1
mrandydixon   1
Morty   1
Kyle MacGregor   1
Occams   1
Char Aznable   1
Arttemis   1
smurfee mcgee   1


 
 

  0 COMMENTS

Please login (or) make a quick account (free)
to view and post comments.



 Login with Twitter

 Login with Dtoid

Three day old threads are only visible to verified humans - this helps our small community management team stay on top of spam

Sorry for the extra step!

 

About Zombie Orwellone of us since 3:07 PM on 03.30.2012

My fellow internet zombie brethren:

It is my specious pleasure to be addressing you in the fullness of time. My name is Zombie Orwell. You will be hearing a lot from me in the coming months as we ratchet up the intensity of our Zombie Rights Revolution.

I wish all of you safe human-hunting. Please message me ([email protected]) if you have questions or free tacos.

I love you!
 



Read Huge: Top Stories

Destructoid