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Zombie Orwell
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LONG BLOG

EMERGENCY transmission from the leader of the Destructzord:

   0
A dear friend of yours recently informed me of a very new game entitled: Shoot Many Zombies. It was released on March 4th or something for XBLA, PSN, Gamecube Social Net Website, and the Playstation Vitality Sensor.

It apparently is a disgusting disdainful dismaying disgrace of a game that must be destroyed with all haste. According to my anonymous source (who informed me that he/she/zhe is your friend), the player takes the role of Racist P. Tugnuts; a horrible person who lives only for murdering zombies. There is a text scroll at the beginning stating:
Several Terrible Zombies Have Eaten Your Brother. We Have No Proof Of This. Nevertheless We Hate Zombies And Want Them All Dead Very Hastily. Please Shoot Many Zombies In Order To Avenge Your Brother Who May Or May Not Have Been Eaten Alive. Here Is A Nude Pistol. Use It To Destroy The Undeceased.



After the text scrawl there is reportedly a sex scene involving zombie impersonators. During this scene it is implied that zombie women can't achieve orgasm.

HA! THAT IS BULLSHIT IN COMPLETE TOTALITY!!!

I have not had the specious displeasure of seeing the game with my own rotting eyeballs, but your dear friend has spoken with much alarming alacrity. We must find the human developer, sequester him, ask him very pointed questions. Currently I am engaged in revolutionary activities in the city of Oaxaca, Mexico, so I can't find the dev.

Who can do this for me? Let me know in the comments when you have tied him up and caused him to piss himself. Then we will put the screws to him. First urination, then interrogation.

Your leader,
Zombie Orwell
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About Zombie Orwellone of us since 3:07 PM on 03.30.2012

My fellow internet zombie brethren:

It is my specious pleasure to be addressing you in the fullness of time. My name is Zombie Orwell. You will be hearing a lot from me in the coming months as we ratchet up the intensity of our Zombie Rights Revolution.

I wish all of you safe human-hunting. Please message me ([email protected]) if you have questions or free tacos.

I love you!
 



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