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Zombie Orwell's c-blog
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Faps. Never Forget.

My dear fellow Dzords, All eras must come to a close. It appears our beloved Faps have gone away. And when I use the phrase "gone away" I mean "been kidnapped, driven to a field, tortured for weeks, and left in a field that was subsequentl...

 
 
 

Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap Fap (part one)

Fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap ...

 
 
 
 
 

Zombie Orwell has arts for your stupid eyes

I, the zombie who is Orwell (who is me), have a special treat for you Dzoid idiots who do faps upvotes, downvotes, comments, flame wars, etc. I have an arts for you. Just for you. And nobody else. This shall take the form of a guided tour...

 
 
 

Steam box is $1000. Zombie Orwell is free.

Recently, in the world of videogames, there has been an exciting announcement. Videogame players will soon be able to buy a box containing (currently unknown quantities of) steam. Sometimes known as �vapor,� steam is usually very hot. So ho...

 
 
 

George, is that you? (pt 2)

Come on, George, contact me. So much real shit is going down. You�re missing it all. People we know are coming back from the dead! Ernezt Zemingway and F Zcott Fitzzzgerald are competing for the title of �best undeceased writer.� Emiliano Z...

 
 
 

George, is that you?

George? Have I finally found you? Are you really back from the dead? Oh, George, I�ve been waiting so long. Where are you? I really want to see you again. I want us to be like we used to be, me and my beloved George Orwell (I refuse to call...

 
 
 

The Write... Ztuff

Dearest dearest comrades this week I will recap the very most existent of all the latest cblogs. You may have read Strider Hoang's infamous series called The Write Stuff, but this one is... um... It's the exact same thing. Just like The St...

 
 
 
 

Zombie Orwell reviews Mass Effect

WELCOME EVERYBODY TO OUR ANNUAL YEARLY VIDEO GAME REVIEW!!! This time I am reviewing ... ... wait for it A NON ZOMBIE GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why would I do such a thing? Well, firstly, this game actually does have creatures th...

 
 
 

Diaries of a ramblin' zombie

When they were still predeceased citizens, the Allman Brothers wrote a song which I will paraphrase: Lord I was born a ramblin zombie, Tryin to make a livin and doin the best I can to overthrow the human-centric hegemony that suffocates my...

 
 
 
 

Is good FOR moneymaking!!!

You too can be making vast glorious sums of cash wads by clicking on this link! I also think is impressive that can make money in just the home by using computer. This is very impressive to me I also would like more imformations about how t...

 
 
 

Zombie Orwell reviews Left 4 Dead (4 Elsa)

Elsa mentioned that she would like a review of Left 4 Dead. If anyone has earned the right to command the zombie who is Orwell (who is me), it is Elsa. Considering her years of service to this old, shambling Destructzord we call home, I hav...

 
 
 
 

Boner Quest HD vs original Boner Quest

As GLaDOS probably said in Portal, it it impossible to overstate my satisfaction with your performance, Dr Freeman. In this case, I (the zombie who is Orwell) am the OS who is GLaD, and Boner Quest HD is Dr Freeman. Why would I state my...

 
 
 

Hypocrisy at it's double finest

In an effort to gain 500+ comments, and in an effort to troll my own cblog post, I will now slag off Destructoid. This site sucks. I hate it. It is terrible. The #1 rule is "don't suck." Yet there are many people here who suck!!!! WTFFFF...

 
 
 

Zombie Orwell gets a boner for Boner Quest

This narrative explains how I manged to find an unopened copy of the much sought after Boner Quest, developed by Lascivious Entertainment. In my next cblog I will give a proper review. Until then, please enjoy my humble words. There I was,...

 
 
 
 
 

Talking To Humans About Videogames (part 2)

Dearest most dear followers, comrades, and Human Infiltrators (Samit), It is with the most specious and utmost of pleasures that I introduce to you Louis, my first Filthy Human To Whom I Wish To Interrogate (FHTWIWTI). He has brown hair, l...

 
 
 

Talking to Humans About Videogames

I have begun a beautiful new experiment. And I need your help. My goal is to discuss videogames with Actual Disgusting Filthy Humans (ADFHs). Obviously there are very few ADFHs in the Destructzord, so we may need to kidnap some. Here's w...

 
 
 
 
 

A note on the Humor

My favorite psychoanalyst friend David Hume recently told me a startling revelaition: Comedy is equal parts tragedy and time. This means that if something makes you cry for 2 hours, it will make you laugh 2 hours after you stop crying. My...

 
 
 

Farewell my dearest Samit

Dearest dearest dearest dearest dearest dearest dearest Samit Sarkar, I wish to extend upon your corporeal shell a Big And Fine FareWell. This is not goodbye, for we shall be rejoined after the Zombie Liberation Revolution Movement has fin...

 
 
 

A very timely review of Resident Evil 4

(EXCLUSIVE SEMICONDUCTOR WARNING!! This post contains no photos! How shall we survive?) We now analyze with great promptitude a video game in the Resident Evil franchise which has become very beloved by human video game bloggers. It is the...

 
 

About Zombie Orwellone of us since 3:07 PM on 03.30.2012

My fellow internet zombie brethren:

It is my specious pleasure to be addressing you in the fullness of time. My name is Zombie Orwell. You will be hearing a lot from me in the coming months as we ratchet up the intensity of our Zombie Rights Revolution.

I wish all of you safe human-hunting. Please message me ([email protected]) if you have questions or free tacos.

I love you!
 
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