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Another loser anthem


I have a confession to make. It’s been weighing on me quite a bit as I write this little blog, and I feel I can’t go on before I get it out of the way. This blog,… Isn’t about Weatus. I know, I know,… You feel mislead, like this was all fake news, and I’ll forgive you for clicking that tempting back button in your top left corner. But if you decide to press on, and search for some value here, I promise I do have something that can be mistaken for a point somewhere in here.

There comes a point in everyone’s life where they just want to head out and see the world. And what they really want to do on their travels is of course fetching items for other people, climbing towers, collecting uninteresting items and beat things with sticks, right? No? yeah,… fuck no.

So why is it that this never seems the sink in with our beloved deities in the AAA marketplace. I hate to beat the, by now, long decomposed dead horse, but god damn. If I never have to climb a Ubisoft watchtower again in my life then I’ll die a happy man.

It’s strange though that developers always seem to take such an exciting concept as an open world, and decide to cramp it chock full of the same repetitive missions, yours to enjoy until your eyes start bleeding fetch quests. Now, to try and connect me ranting about games to the title, cause I promised all of this was going somewhere right?

E3 has come and gone and holly shit Wolfenstein looks awesome! Anthem however? I’d give it a meh out of 10. Of course not a whole lot is known about Anthem, but to me it seems to be pulling quite heavily in the direction Ubisoft’s the division decided to go. This giant open world to explore, with cool iron man armor, you can call it whatever you want EA but that’s iron man armor. It all sounds so exiting, but yet the developer seemed to have no trust in their product, so instead tried to artificially make the trailer exiting with that hilarious “real players” thing they tried to pull.

So now you may feel extra deceived cause I promised you an epic punch line, right? All I can do after all is speculate about a game that we haven’t seen a whole lot from. But as for the open world gimmick in general, I don’t feel like I’m being particularly harsh. I know I’m not the only one who just can’t get excited about these games anymore. If every open world game was like an elder scrolls game then sure, give me more.(no I’m not counting the elder scrolls online, give me a break) But as every major AAA release is a serious financial risk, most publishers just won’t commit to such a 5 year dev cycle.

So instead we get the same watered down drivel over and over again, because making you repeat the same missions over and over again takes less time than writing unique dialogue for different characters, creating a wide variety of quests,… And look at games that do this, assassin’s creed unity, mirror’s edge : catalyst, the division,…. While not necessarily bad games, they do so little with the possibilities of an open world that you have to wonder, do they still benefit from it?

So the solution I want to offer is a simple one, just stop,… If you’re not going to do anything with the concept of being open world, then just stop,... Making a linear game is not a bad thing, I’d rather play a decent linear game than any of these run of the mill open world titles.

Anyways if after all this you still feel justifiably disappointed, refunds will be provided by the dedicated destructoid with my deepest apologies. I checked and they are totally on board with that!

Also, by now I’m sure you figured out I only brought up Anthem so I could make that music reference in the title. So I’ll just hide in my safe space now, offline, where you can’t hold my accountable, bye!

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About YoeriBone of us since 4:54 PM on 02.19.2016

Welcome good sir, or indeed, good woman. Thanks for checking out my little destructoid page. If you’re not familiar with who I am, I don’t blame you.

My name is Yoeri, I write the occasional blog, make some artwork (digital 2D and 3D), and study to one day be unemployed and looking for a job in the games industry.

If you really want to see more of me, for whatever shady motivations you may or may not posses, then you can always check out my twitter account:

Or check out my, in fairly generous terms, artwork on Artstation

Thanks for swinging by, and come again soon!