And I think that can pretty much sum up how “valid” the opinion of one these fornicating multiplatformers really is. Who can trust a mind that has already been tainted by the disgusting and unholy act of multiplatformerism? Just as fish shit in water the mind of the multiplatformer is laden with the shit of an open mind. With no personal agenda who knows what nonsense can spew from their minds? Wii is better than PS3? Killzone is better than Halo? Some have even said these console wars are pointless and we should “Just like get along, man.” These free thinking hippies of gaming are nothing but filth. They are vermin who must be saved by the glory and holiness of your respective fanboyism.
So do not fret fanboys. I know your walk seems tired, your soul seems tried, and your mission seems hard. They will say ignorant things. They’ll question the validity of your opinion of Halo when you don’t own an Xbox. They’ll ignore the cold hard facts like 9.6 is more than 9.7. Hell, they’ll even ask you how you can be a fanboy and then turn around and be enraged at bias. It’s not that you have a bias, it’s that you know the truth. Truth is fact, undeniable and without argument. And the truth is [insert convenient truth here].
Now take this bread, take this water, and continue your journey, oh wanderer.
Oh who am I you ask? Well, it’s funny really. I was one of you. Yes, I was. I was a fanboy, one of the purest and strongest of them all. But then I was dealt with a devastating blow, drawn in by the lust of a she-devil who gripped onto me and wouldn’t let me go until I submit. And when my strength finally waned I did and I have not been able to return since. Who was she? Her name, three letters long, and as potent as a venomous serpent, still rings in me today. It sickens me to say she guides my life, directs my every move, and even disgustingly holds over the games I play. No longer do I seek innovation, or originality, as a true gamer should. Are you ready to hear the name of the she-devil?
LOOK WHO CAME:
Pudge Controls the Weather 1