Videogames and dating: Writing under the influence
of Diet Soda
Well itís almost Valentineís Day and since I donít have a date Iím gonna make fun of the entire day scene
(Yes, that makes sense to me)
I tend to explain a lot of thing through videogames analogies, it seems to resonate with the people I hang out
with and more often than ever Iíve found that some of the lessons I probably learn through videogames on a
subconscious level are often so very right.
Marioís relationship with Peach is a lot healthier now than in the early days.
This is Destructoid so Iím gonna assume that we all know the princess gets some sick pleasure out of cock
teasing the hell out of everybody, but thereís also the fact that Mario used to be pussy whipped like no other
man has before. His entire existence revolved around saving this princess that couldnít fight her way out of a
paper bag and needed a big fat Italian guy to save her. Thatís all he did, thatís what defined Mario he lived to
please an insatiable woman. He kept fighting a quest that was almost as noble as it is stupid.
These days Mario has become a more complete person. He practices tennis, golf, goes cart racing and
somehow managed to go to Med School and became a doctor and I applaud him for that. However thereís
the fact that Peach is always with him in these activities (except for the doctor part) and makes me think that
someone in that relationship is very clingy and just canít leave the other person alone.
Also, Smash Brothers is kind of weird in the sense that I donít understand if itís just a friendly game or a
socially accepted (at least in Nintendoís society) form of domestic violence.
ďYour Princess is in another castleĒ was probably the first time I learned about heartbreak. Mario quite does
this epic feat to get this woman and supposed to save the world he lives in. He jumps over bottomless pits,
he stomps hellish creatures, he sends a monster to his fiery death in a pit of lava just to find this mushroom
shaped anthropomorphic piece of soul crushing disappointment at the end of his quest. Thatís just as harsh
as things get.
However the phrase ďYour Princess is in another castleĒ also implies that there is a princess somewhere for
Mario. This probably gives a lot more hope towards finding that special someone than real life.
Bowser is also a pretty interesting case. Most people know about ďThe one that got awayĒ that person that
you wanted to be it so badly yet never quite managed to. Most people eventually moved on. Bowser never
moved on and he keeps chasing and kidnapping the same woman, a woman that very obviously doesnít
want to be with him. This all seems very silly to me. Thereís obviously a member of the opposite sex that
loves him just enough to have his babies, however he keeps following the dumb blonde that constantly
rejects him, maybe he just wants to be punished or something. We also have to consider that thereís
something sexually deviant about this whole thing since Bowser and Peach are of a different species.
I guess thereís also the fact that Bowser kidnaps Peach for entirely political purposes but thereís no comedy
in that statement.
Well thatís all I have for now. To everybody thatís reading this Happy Valentineís, be safe and what not.