At the beginning of every year, my church does a 21 day fast. Now, already, I can tell this has turned people off but all I ask is that you keep an open mind and hear me out. I won't go into the spiritual or philosophical details as to why
we do this, other than to spiritually prepare ourselves for the new year. For 21 days, you fast something: television, food, caffeine, meat, etc. This year, I had decided to opt out since I figured that I didn't have anything to fast. That is, until I looked at my Steam profile.
I have 32 games on my profile. The one with the highest amount of hours is Payday: The Heist with a total of 75 hours played. I looked at this list last night and remembered that I also bought the Warhammer 40k: Dawn of War Franchise, still have yet to beat Cave Story+, Binding of Isaac, the entirety of the Soul Reaver franchise and many others. I looked at all these games and realized that I was a glutton. A glutton for games.
This wasn't to make myself feel guilty, mind you. I had realized that I spent a large amount of money on games that I haven't even touched, but yet felt compelled to buy them. I had plan to run through all of them, but I never did. I opted to grind out in Payday or to derp through missions in Champions Online. I had books I needed to read, projects I needed to finish and, to be honest, prayers I needed to say. I had put aside the things I needed to do in order to play games. This, I decided, was to be my fast. However, I felt led to do a different kind of fast.
See, most people just flat out stop playing games during this time. I get bored easily, so I decided to pick one game. The problem, though, is that I get bored with a single game. I needed a challenge, I needed something that would keep me interested.
And needed "I Wanna Be The Guy."
"I Wanna Be The Guy" (IWBTG) is a game that grabs you by the face while kicking you in the stomach. It's not made to be fun nor is it made to be good. It's just made to punish you and to test your mettle. Countless streamers have broken controllers and webcams over this game, and I looked at this demon of a title as the only thing that could actually whet my appetite. Sure, I could have gotten Dark Souls or done Fallout:New Vegas on Hardcore mode, but where was the challenge. Exploits and console commands could easily render those games into nothingness, but IWBTG? Some people can't even get past the second screen. So there it was, the only "food" I was allowed to "consume" for the next 21 days.
I stare into the gaping maw that is this relentlessly masochistic beast and wonder if I could find some kind of spiritual enlightenment from this. Can a person play a game meant to torment and find themselves learning something spiritual in the process? Sure, I guess. All I know is that for the next three weeks, all I've got is a double jump, a pistol and some kid wearing a cape to keep me entertained electronically.
Dear Lord that sounded more filthy than it should have.
LOOK WHO CAME: